I hope you figure out what you want, for both of our sake
When you moved out it was supposed to be the end. I had no right to force you to stay and I accepted that I had lost you: "If you love someone set them free", and all that.
So much time has passed and we have both changed and grown. In many ways we're better together now than we were before you left. Sometimes it's so familiar and comfortable that it hurts when I'm reminded that we're not a couple.
I know why I'm dancing this dance with you: I think that we can do it better the second time around. I accept my agency in this and I can end my unhappiness whenever I want.
But this hasn't been about me for a long time. When I ask you if you want to try again the old pain lashes out again, apparently a wound that won't heal. If what I did is that unforgivable, why are we still doing this? (How you hurt me is another story altogether...)
I hope you figure out what you want and whether you want me to be a part of your life. I can handle the answer, whatever it is.