Am i (25f) overthinking what bf (24m) did?
i (25f) have been dating (24m) for almost two months now. our first two dates went well and he was pretty respectful, third date he invites me to his house and twice he attempted to have sex which i said no to the first time, but he tried again a few hours later. he apologized to me after i refused the second time and told me he doesn’t want me to be uncomfortable. fast forward we finally have sex and now i feel like i cant go over to his place or have any physical contact (hugging, cuddling) without him trying to have sex. one of those weeks i was on my period and told him i dont feel good to do it and he still proceeded to put his hands under my shirt and pants quickly without asking me. i think he didn’t think much of it and saw it as teasing as i didnt make it physically clear then that i was upset.
now unto the day that made me question this relationship. i had just came back from a friends wedding and as a nurse i had a night shift that same day. i thought it would be nice to see and cuddle my bf for a quick moment then have a nice rest before i have to drive an hour to work. i made it very clear that i wasn’t feeling well and was tired and that this nap will be very important given that i have to be up all night taking care of my patients. he let me sleep in his bed but wouldn’t stop touching me, i told him to stop and that i cant sleep if someone is grabbing me or even breathing near me. he would back off then proceed to touch me again to tell me that he loves me and just wants to be close to me all the time. there were also several instances of him trying to touch me more intimately and repeating “you dont think it hurts” pointing out his boner. i was still refusing and telling him i need to rest, he would back off, but then again try to reattempt a couple minute later. it was then 2 hours until my shift starts so i told him i couldn’t sleep and that im going to rest in my car before driving to work. he then told me to just sleep and that he will leave the room and wont bother me, this is what upset me cause all i could think “why didnt you do that the last few hours?”. The days after his communication was a lot less than usual so im not sure if he feels bad or pretending that never happened or is absolutely clueless that im upset, but either way i never got an apology.
im going to see him tomorrow to go pick up some clothes and im already dreading his attempts to sleep with me. i dont feel comfortable breaking up in person but also dont like the thought of having to do it over the phone. it doesnt help that im very unconfrontational and get emotiona/anxious/cry when i have to express stuff that bothers me. the idea that he either knows im mad and doesn’t care to talk about it or doesnt see what he did was wrong makes me just wants to go ghost on him.