u/AlephandTav77

Before the age of information who do you think knew outside “secret societies?” Like just your every day person such as you and me. How would they even access this info?

Quite a long time ago in my 20s I experienced what felt like the most peace I’ve ever experienced in an extremely vivid dream. This was before I was into anything spiritual or experimented with most psychedelics. I also had not read any religious texts at this point.

The dream was that there was 2 suns in the sky. I was sitting on a boulder looking up and again, the most peace I’ve ever felt. Never experienced this feeling in “waking life.” One of the suns appears to have exploded or imploded and basically there was fire raining down. Most people were running around yelling.

I also painted something in an intro to oil painting class around a similar timeframe. We were painting the model and then could do whatever we wanted in the background and I just painted automatically (which is how I prefer to paint.)

Idk if this is all just symbolic and personal or symbolic and collective …. Or something else.

But I didn’t know about how a second sun tied into PPT until very recently …

Hey y’all

I’ve circled back to the prison planet “theory” once again. Learned about it a few years before the plandemic. Though I learned from one of Ickes books and not to ruffle any feathers… but I think he mixes truth with lies. Anywho I was also into a bunch of new c(age) stuff and had even been in a psychic cult a bunch of years prior to that.

. During the plandemic I searched on the internet and stumbled upon info that basically put me into a religious psychosis. I leaned ALOT about freemasonry and all that. I moved and did nothing but study the Bible for like a year and a half no joke. Also fasted a bunch etc. oh and I learned about gematria!

After I came out of that I got in a relationship and steered clear of anything spiritual or “belief oriented” I guess. I was preoccupied with my relationship.

Shortly before that relationship ended I found the fourth way (Gurdjieff) after realizing why I was in that relationship and that I really didn’t know myself at all. It was unsettling. Like i had thought I had some control and understanding when I was really a slave to my unconscious. And once I learned that through my own experience I discovered Gurdjieff fourth way (ironically through A.I. ~ which I no longer use.)

I studied the fourth way consistently - even got some adjacent tattoos because it really felt life changing and in some ways it still is. But his ideas about feeding the moon circled me back here. Tbh I think he’s likely to be a Freemason and also mixing truths with lies or misleading on some ideas or leaving out pertinent info (which I also think about Icke.)

Yeah so now I’m studying all of this … and can even tie it back into scriptural studies and occult studies. So that’s nice and all.

But like I’m trying to process it all and feeling like wtf do I do. I’m moving in a few months with no solid plan … mostly traveling around an area to see how I feel when I’m there. Living out of a bag with some savings. No family I still talk to. No real friends. And I’m just like wtf do I do with this and how do align my actions and life with this??

I went back to eating plant based (which funny enough I stopped when I was in a psychosis.) I dislike giving away all my time at my job and after researching dislike it even more now. Like I’m seriously considering looking for seasonal work and then being a vagabond. But I’m a small woman and you’re trading one form of hardship for another.

If you’ve made it this far. Thanks for reading. It’s just a bit overwhelming and I guess I need to do some writing and painting to process this shit (very neurodivergent here and this stuff help.) but then what?