I (23F) don't see a future with my current relationship (M24), how do I even begin to leave?
It sucks. He's my first relationship. I never got much romantic attention in my formative years, and when I got Hinge (due to peer pressure), he was the only one who carried the conversation over to a date. We started dating shortly after, but I had doubts from begining and could almost see the expiration date in red font. I dated to marry or work towards that pathway, so it felt weird that I was always hesitant around him.
We've been dating for 8-ish months, but for the past 4 its been bad with these feelings. I've asked for space to figure these out before I make a rash decision, but every time I reflect, I get a clear answer, but I know I'm in denial.
I've met his friends, and they've welcomed me into the group with open arms, which I've struggled to process. He hasn't met mine because I'm protective of my circle, and I refuse to introduce someone to my circle unless I'm 1000% sure. Lately, these feelings have been getting worse, leading to anxiety.
He's a good person, kind, generous, patient, but we communicate differently, and it has been the centre of most of our conflicts. I'm more reserved and love my alone time. He's the opposite, more social and outgoing. I'm also working and doing my master's, so time has also been a conflict for us. I get tired easily and need a few days to recover, and sometimes I feel like he doesn't understand that. I've voiced it, but it falls into deaf ears.
I've communicated these concerns, but I feel like I'm not being heard. I'm sad, but at the same time, I want to be free of this constant anxious cycle of trying to compromise when he keeps pushing me to hang out. I did want to, but I have a packed schedule, and he doesn't seem to understand that. He's working part-time, so his schedule is less dense than mine, and I work full-time. I've tried to make things work, but I really don't see the point when it's always me making the sacrifices. I get he wants to hang, but I cannot just drop my previous commitments for him like that.
Any advice on how I should proceed?