u/Aishora

It’s been almost a year since I became an undercover atheist. I remember I was in 9th grade, 15 years old carelessly scrolling through TikTok until I came upon a video of Alex o Conner debating religious people. His claim was “ suffering makes god existence unlikely” after I saw how he demolished everyone in that debate, it made me question my faith. until ultimately I accepted the fact I lost my love for Islam.

Fortunately, I didn’t experience any trauma or severe pain that made me want to leave Islam, which makes me curious on how others realized Islam was untrue?
And what makes u so confident?

Hi guys I started homeschooling in tenth grade, and i realized I don’t have that much opportunities like I did in 9th grade. I am wondering how can I improve my stats and if it’s harder for homeschooled kids to get accepted to college ?

Dream school : university of Maryland

Gpa : 4.0

Extracurriculars/ achievements:

Science fair honorable mention

Science fair 1st place

Cspan

Art club

2D art competition 5th place

Knowledge test competition 4th place

Tang so doo martial arts : black belt

Volunteer at Sunday school

Digital art competition (didnt reveal the winners yet)

In the future I’m gonna start dual enrollment and volunteering at the hospital

Please let me know what else I should add!!!

Hi I’m 16 female and I have been thinking of killing my self because my life genuinely sucks

Here are my reasons:

1. I am an atheist in a Muslim household, I grew up very religious. Both my parents believe and praises god. My grandma is an Islamic author and my brother is a hafiz(memorized the entire Quran). I even went to an Islamic school from prek - 9th grade,however in 10th grade(now) I went to a hifz school( a school that studies the Quran) I discovered that I didn’t believe in. God towards the end of 9th grade and on that day, I realized I was doomed. Because my entire family cosins friends everyone is Muslim. I couldn’t tell a single soul about my faith. If I did tell my family members they would prob abandon me.
   ,

faking being Muslim is also very draining, I have to wear a hijab, memorized Quran, pretend to pray, not pluck my eyebrows, can’t draw eyes etc. it’s really difficult to live a lifestyle you don’t believe in.

In conclusion, due to the stress and unhappiness being and under cover atheist causes me, I want to km$.

2. my second reason is my mommy issues. My mom hates me, she always yells at me saying I don’t do my work(even tho I do) saying really crude stuff and being mean for no reasons, for example I am a really quite and shy. When I stay quiet she complains saying “ my daughter can’t even talk” “I thought you’d talking since your older, but I lost hope”

Maybe I’m being sensitive but when she says stuff like that it really hurts my feelings

3. Finally my last reason is because I am an inconvenience to everyone’s lives. Even though my mom hates me, I can’t blame her. She sacrificed a lot to give the best life to me and I can’t pay her back.

I can’t help her with cooking since I can’t cook, I have bad grades, memorizing the Quran is hard, I am lazy, untalented, and insecure. Despite my mom disliking me she’s done a lot, and I have done nothing, making me an inconvenience.

Not only this, today I accidentally woke up late and my mom started to yell at my dad, saying “ she is stupid and lazy and she got it from u” I felt bad for my dad getting yelled at because of me. I thought maybe if I didn’t exist, that wouldn’t have happen.

I cause problems to my brother as well. But I will stop rambling.

I’m saying all this because I want advice and want to hear your opinions. Even though I didn’t experience a lot of pain like most people who committed suicide, I still want to know if my reasons are valid.

Also I feel like I might not 🔪 my self because I can’t think of a painless way to die. (Other than old age obv)