Before you read, I’m using Voice text so if anything is spelt wrong it’s probably because the phone didn’t hear me.
I have a confession and it is not about a killing but about what I want to do. I have very bad relations with one of my family members and I do not speak to them anymore, but I can’t help the feeling of wanting them dead and I’m not diagnosed with any sort of like crazy mental disease. I think I have autism or Asperger‘s but I just can’t shake this feeling off of not wishing they were dead, but not be sad about it too often I find myself late at night thinking if I had a gun and they were in the same room as me what would I do and every single night I end up saying I would kill them it sounds so bad and I know it sounds so bad and I’m listening to myself Speak these words out but I just want them dead and I don’t want anyone else to do it and I want to do it and I want to kill them. Sorry if this sounds very bad I know it is, but I have to get this off my chest cause I can’t tell anybody this secret.
I’m not going to kill them. Also side note I lack emotions personally and I lack empathy for people.
Can someone help me so that I don’t crave this anymore?