As a sex repulsed asexual i think i have to give up on love.
Living in a very homophobic country in a sex obsessed world. It makes me crazy. Most people dont even get to know me before asking me for it. I don't think anybody even most asexuals will tolerate how i dont want sex at all. I go years without touching myself. I just don't feel anything . I find zero enjoyment in anything sexual.
And if i ever happened to find someone who has absolutely 0 sexual wants we are probably not going to be compatible.
So i realised i just need to stop wanting the cute little dates and the cute little silly times spend together because people want sexual stuff and its the the only thing i cant give.
I hate it.
I know its a depressing way of looking at things but feeling unlovable is worse.
So maybe its just better to give up wanting love then to have hope that maybe someday under some circumstances i will find somebody who is like me.