Advice on a Dating Issue with Japanese Guy --Long Post
Hello! Could anyone give me an idea what went wrong? This is my first time dating inter-culturally. Sorry for long post !!
I am an American F (24). Since the beginning of March, I've been talking to a Japanese guy (29). To give some background, March was essentially testing the waters. April he asked me out on a date, for Golden Week. This would be our first time meeting. Different jobs, so different schedules. He does not live in the same prefecture as me. He planned the date, drove to me, and drove us to the date destination. Overall, really nice time. He started planning the next date towards the end of the first. We even got matching items. This is after two months of talking via calls & message.
So, fast forward two days after date. He calls me and we talk like normally. Later in the phone call, I say "I saw this hairstyle that would look good on you" He said "Oh really, let me see". For context, we speak a certain level of each other's language.
EDITS: N2 Japanese/ Tottering C2 English
I showed it to him. He said "this is cool" in a good way. Then said " you don't like my haircut?" in a joking manner, but I could tell that is what he really thought because soon after in the phone call he became reserved. I had asked him "what's wrong?" He said he was thinking because he wasn't sure what he should do. I was confused, I said "Please do what you want, I wasn't telling you what to do " trying to ease up his mood. He said he wasn't mad, but.... We got off the phone after I tried to cheer him up and figure out what was wrong, but he just shut down.
EDITS: I did tell him too in the same breath, after he said this "Nothing is wrong with the haircut you have, I like you either way." And other reassurances.
A hour later, I texted him (because how we ended that phone call ) basically apologizing if I said anything wrong (in JPS)He said texted me back saying he really isn't mad with me, but he feels confused and disappointed with himself. (in ENG)
I definitely was confused here. So, I responded saying I'm worried esp if I made you feel that way, I am sorry again. It doesn't have to be now, but if you want to talk about it. I'll listen".
EDITS: He also said in the same message " I know you didn't mean any bad things towards me" Not sure if important, but forgot to include in original post
That was 3 days ago. Sometimes, we don't talk for 1-2 days, but that doesn't happen often. So I'm not sure what went wrong. If I don't hear from him tomorrow, I thinK I will reach out and see where his head is at. I'm not sure what to do.
He is a good guy, but I am totally confused. Any advice would be helpful!