So, after 34 years, I have been told by several people, or asked, by people with ASD, "wait, you don't know you're autistic?" And it kinda has been fucking with me
I took a couple of the tests online, and got a "moderate amount" of autistic traits which has led me to following up with my psychiatrist to get tested.
Kinda got out into a funk about it because I also suffer from ADHD and Bipolar 2 and it just got me in a slump. Kind of tunneling and pigeon holing my perspective right now of wondering why I can't have a bit of normalcy.
Anyway, she went along to tell me that I can change my mindset and the way I think about things and act. Is this true? Because I am in fact very hard headed and stubborn on a handful of things and it takes some time to reflect on my stubborn tendencies. The more I look into it outside of just the questions/"tests" online, I am seeing a lot of similarities and I am seeing a lot of things on there that explain so much.
Need for direct explanations with people.
Discomfort and hyper focusing on uncertainties from not getting those explanations
High executive dysfunction
Some texture overstimulation
Over analytical, very logical, dissemination of my attempts to read people.
Rationalization of emotions, over analyzing and breaking down emotions.
I just kinda feel confused about it all. I'm all for embracing it, but my bipolar 2 is kind of getting me into a funk about it now and it's all that I have been dwelling on for the last week. Especially because of a communication breakdown with one of my best friends that's kind of lead to us not being as close of friends anymore.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, not sure if this is the right subreddit to even post this about
Idk, I am just confused.