I studied computer science in college. Graduated May 2025. I submitted over 800 applications and it took me about a year of applying to land a job (started applying while I was still in school). I landed an entry level SWE role at a small company in fall 2025 and moved across the country for it.
I took this job because it was my first job offer, and I was desperate. It also had pretty good benefits and pay. But more so, I had no idea when another offer would come my way. So I took the first one I got, because like I said, I was desperate for entry level experience on my resume.
I have been working this job for 6 months, and I absolutely hate it. I cry every single week. I feel indescribable dread every single Sunday.
It’s a small company, so I have little to no guidance — ever. I am thrown into enormous code bases that have 0 documentation and I am expected to figure everything out on my own. I don’t have a senior engineer that I work with. Everything is usually entirely independent. My code is never reviewed so I am not learning best practices. Everything changes so fast. There has already been layoffs since I started working. There is constant funding instability. There is an unsaid (but sometimes literally said) expectation to work overtime and always be available on weekends to meet “crunch deadlines”. Everything is so unprofessional. Things seem to change drastically every single week. I currently don’t even have a boss. I feel like my nervous system is on alert every single week. There is genuinely a new stressor every single week. One of the senior engineers who is able to help me sometimes, told me that he felt bad for me and that these are not normal working conditions what so ever for a junior SWE. And on top of all of this, I hate the work that my company does. I am morally opposed to it. It makes me feel sick. It’s in the defense sector. I genuinely hate every single aspect of my job. It makes me absolutely miserable.
I am applying to jobs like a mad man - every single day. Grinding leet code every day in case I get an interview. Working on a new personal project for my resume to get experience with in demand skills right now. I have been applying for 3 months, about 150 roles, but I have gotten no bites yet. Only rejections. I am applying for junior SWE roles, but the level of work that I have done at this job would easily qualify me for mid level roles (but obviously 6 months of experience is not considered mid level) even though the difficultly of the work that I have done would easily qualify me.
I am so miserable, that I told myself if I am still THIS miserable 6 months from now (crying nearly every day), when I hit 1 YOE and my lease is up, that I would quit without something lined up and move back home, get my mental health in check, and apply full time. Because that is how badly this job is impacting my mental health. I am giving myself 6 more months of hard grinding applying before making any rash decisions.
I talked to my family about it, and they are okay with it. I am fortunate to have a financial safety net and would not have to pay any bills if I am unable to land something by then. I also have an emergency fund that would fully cover my move. But my dad thinks it would be dumb to quit without something else lined up, which I agree with, but this job is destroying me… and if I am still as miserable as I am now in 6 months, after already facing 6 months of misery… then I don’t know if I can take it anymore. My job is genuinely destroying me from the inside out.
Honestly, thinking of the 1 YOE deadline makes me feel a bit better, because it reinforces that the misery my current job is causing me is temporary. It’s only a worst case scenario plan if nothing pans out for me in the next 6 months. But I want opinions on it.
What do you think about this worst case scenario “exit plan”?