u/AffectionateStep819

I’m a junior, in DMV, into biomed and have decent stats(dm if u want details). I applied to 16 programs and got rejected by almost all of them (16th pending). Of course, I feel kinda sad I couldn’t get in anywhere since I poured a lot of time and effort into my apps, but I didn’t have any expectations as I know how selective these programs are.
I know that programs are more favored to their local students, but it’s unfair that the local programs around me are defunded (NIH, FDA, AEOP, etc.). I did apply to two local programs, but they both had rlly limited seats (ASSIP is a popular one).

I have emailed countless professors. Most leave me on read, but some reply to tell me that they can’t take me. In fact, I have been able to get professors to meet with me online only for them to reject me. Why? They keep telling me about the funding: this year, it apparently is much, much harder to work in a lab as a high schooler due to the funding cuts (not that high schoolers need to be paid but that the labs are empty, so no one to guide the high schooler). Professors I met with online told me that I was capable and they would’ve otherwise taken me as an intern had it been any other year.

What I am doing now is continuing to email professors and university labs around me, which I think is the right move. I’m trying to see if I can use my connections to nepo my way into somewhere, but literally all my family friends work at NIH (where high schoolers have been barred from interning/shadowing since new administration).

I was only posting here to see if anyone had any suggestions(and to vent lmao).

Junior in hs. Have two Bs so far: that’s pushing it for where I want to go. No BSMD or cool school will take someone with anymore. Now, out of the blue, I got a terrible grade on one bc calc test that pulled it down from A to B. In Spanish, I just missed the mark for an A. This quarter, I can still try and fight, but it will be improbable that I beat the Bs. If I don’t, then I don’t know what I will do with myself. Everyone around me has a perfect gpa, and besides that, just perfect. It’s not that I dislike them, it’s just that I will never be where they are or experience what they will. I thought I was sacrificing for my grades: sacrificing my physique, my health, my sleep(sooo many sleepiness nights).

Anyways, it’s over for me. I can’t get into the programs I want. I worked hard on my ECs, but they are still not crazy enough to compensate for the Bs. I would rather die than live with this. I can’t keep going. I can’t think. Besides these Bs, I am not able to get into any research programs or get with profs. They keep telling me that the fundings cut and can’t have me in their lab. I applied for 16 programs and basically got rejected everywhere (still waiting on 4, but hopeless). It’s over for me.

I know that I have to be able to handle failure, but I can’t live knowing the only thing I’ve ever wanted will be out of my reach forever.

EDIT: Hey, thank you for your support. I’ve calmed down now. I realize I should not harm myself over a bad gpa, and I was not thinking straight when I wrote this post. Thank you, your comments were really reassuring.

Hey guys. I tried something rlly ambitious this year. I know this sounds crazy, but I really wanted to try and get chem done in jr year (I had reasons for it)

Anyways, I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t manage time as well as should have. I’m solid on units 1-4, can understand (but have not fully revised/covered all topics) 6,7, and 8. I have not yet revised 5(kinetics) and not started 9(electro cell stuff?). I have yet to take AP practice test.

My plan is to grind khan for 5 and 9, finish those by this Friday, and then nonstop grind ap chem tests (I have a good amount at my disposal)

The only issue getting in my way is the amount of schoolwork I have plus the other 6 ap IB tests I’m doing(not including IB chem)

Pls send words of encouragement or suggestions/tips (including resources I should look into, extra tests, etc.)