u/AffectionateLeave677

(NOT ELIGIBLE FOR CONTEST)

I ran as fast as my legs could take me. Never fast enough. The boardwalk rumbled under our feet the closer we got to the end. I couldn’t slow down, not yet. We slammed into the wooden railing, kicking dirt and rocks into the waves below.

“You took off—ya big cheat!” I panted.

“Maybe I’m just faster, Michael,” Ricco rubbed in.

Little Mikey came screaming down the boardwalk just moments later. Ma made me bring him with us. It was supposed to be just me and Gabby. Everything was ruined.

“Why don’t you win her a big stuffed animal or something?” Ricco suggested.

“She ain’t into that girlie stuff. Can you watch Little Mikey for one ride? C’mon, I’ll give ya five bucks.”

“Ten.”

“Seven.”

“Deal.”

Seven crumpled dollars clapped between our hands, and we shook on it. I turned and there she was. Gabriella Giuliani.

“You guys ready, or what? Let’s hit Harry’s Haunted House!” Gabby pointed to the giant werewolf head. Its jaw fell open to let us in.

“You guys go ahead,” I said nervously. “Looks too s-scary for Little Mikey.”

Great, Gabby thought I was a wimp. Little Mikey followed me into the arcade. I pretended to play one of the games, and he copied; that’d keep him busy. All the games looked lame and outdated. Then—one called out to me,

“Does desire design dubious deeds? Do deals demand dangerous debts?”

It spoke behind dark glass, though the machine didn’t seem to be plugged in. I kicked it to life, a flickering display of yellow lights. The coin-slot button was too small for a coin, and I didn’t have one anyhow. It read,

“1 Year.”

I pushed it in and something pricked my thumb through the slot.

“Hey! What the fuck?” I staggered back, thumb in mouth. A hint of metallic touched my tongue as the machine wound its gears. Yellow eyes smoldered behind the glass.

“What wonders wait while wishes wonder? What would we win, what would we wager?” 

A wish? What did I want? To impress Gabby.

“I wish… I could beat Ricco.”

I waited for a reaction in the hum of tired bulbs. What a ripoff. When the others came back, I challenged Ricco to a rematch.

“There’s like a hundred games here Michael. How ‘bout a shootout?” Ricco handed me a BB gun tied to a short rope.

“You’re on.”

I squinted one eye and aimed at the clown’s piano teeth. I managed to knock two out with six shots. Damn it. Ricco snatched the gun from my hands. Couldn’t he just let me win? He held steady, both eyes open. The shot bounced back with a loud Ping!

“Ow, Fuck!” Ricco yelped with both hands over his eye.

He got patched up at the first aid booth and called his dad to come get him. Before he left, he handed me the leftover change from our broken deal. Gabby called home to check in while I confronted the wish machine.

“Hey, what the hell was that?” I demanded. A light blinked. “No Refunds.” Okay, smartass. “I wish Gabby would like me.”

“Can careful conditions conquer clever contracts?”

Yeah yeah, careful conditions. I needed to be more clear about what I wished for, so no more bad things would happen. I pushed in the button with my other thumb, and it pricked me a second time.

“I want to hold Gabby’s hand,” I declared, as the gears clicked behind that glowing stare.

The night dragged on. Little Mikey wasn’t tall enough for any of the fun rides. I wasn’t getting anywhere; I had to get rid of him.

“Hey guys, how ‘bout a caramel apple?” They smiled at me as I counted four bucks and some change from my pocket. “Just wait right here.”

I made a detour on my way to the snack bar for one last desperate wish. I stabbed a finger on the button and told the machine my terms.

“I want Little Mikey to stay right here until I come back. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. Got it?”

“Stipulations secure safety sanctions. Someone stays, someone strays.”

Its grin seemed to widen, and I thought I could hear laughing as I ran off. I made it back with the apples and saw Gabby’s mother. Rats. Was she picking her up already?

“Hey Michael, your little brother is so cute! Why don’t I take him to pet the animals while you two go on one more ride?” Gabby’s mother spoke insistently, taking my brother’s hand. What a lifesaver.

“We could… go on the Ferris wheel?” I suggested shyly.

“Kinda cheesy…” she replied, “what about Axes of Agony?!”

The twin axes swung higher and higher, ‘til they cut past each other at the top. I couldn’t think of a less romantic way to end the night, but she sounded so excited. I regretted not getting her that stuffed animal as the safety bar clicked into our laps. No going back. We swayed side to side and gained speed with every drop. I gripped the bar.

“Let go Michael, here it comes!” She grabbed my hand and held it in the air.

My eyes shut tightly as we scraped past the other axe full of screaming riders. We settled at the bottom. It was all over, but our hands still held each other. I’d never felt happier. When my eyes opened, Gabby was gone. What? I looked in my hand and it still held hers, but she was no longer attached.

Screams echoed through the boardwalk as I slowly made my way back to Gabby’s mom. What was I going to say? Bodies fell from faulty rides, and burning animals jumped off the pier. I pushed through the panic of people pouring out of the arcade. My little brother sat on the floor in front of the wish machine. He looked down at his hands, all ten fingers spotted with blood.

“Little Mikey… w-what did you wish for?”

A gift was waiting for me when I opened my eyes. How long had it been there, watching me sleep? I didn’t like doors that slid to open. I couldn’t tell them apart from the walls.

I supposed waking up with a paper bird in your room was normal at The Origami Inn.

It was late when we arrived, and no one was there to greet us. We let ourselves in. I saw no staff or signs of other guests. If not for the paper animals, I could’ve sworn we were alone.

I sucked in the snot from my nose and swallowed. The smell of hot food forced me out of bed. The place was a little brighter. Maybe it was day, or maybe it was the flame beneath the pot.

“Where’d you get that?”

“It was here when I woke up,” Tyler slurped, waving to the other steaming bowls.

The warm broth coated my sticky throat, and I could almost taste how good it was. I pulled a hair from my mouth and kept eating. Austin leaned against a creaking wood beam. He looked down on us with a familiar disgust.

“I can’t believe you are eating that shit.”

This place wasn’t good at keeping the rain out, but it was good at keeping us in. It was falling apart, cold, and affordable. 

I pulled out a pocket full of crumpled memories. Just a few more days, then we’d be back home and best friends again.

Something passed near the edge of my vision. I followed it down the long hallway.

The building seemed to worsen the deeper I went. Splintered wooden frames. Soggy paper walls. I thought I could see an open screen, and someone standing halfway into the hall.

The camera whined in the dark as I waited for the flash to charge up.

Snap! 

It spat out a photo, and I watched it bleed into view. Nothing. Only a long hallway that turned black before it ended.

I made my way back to my room to finish sleeping in. It didn’t come easy, even when it was all there was to do. Abused roof shingles fought against the wind, and I let them rock me to sleep.

I heard the planks ache… the screen slide open… soft steps against the mat. When my eyes adjusted, the paper bird lay tipped over on its side.

I joined the others at the table for lunch. Or maybe dinner. The kitchen was warmer than the rest of the house. Tyler had already finished his food and was working on Austin’s. He stared at the uneaten bowl in front of me.

I fiddled with the paper bird and wondered who had folded it into existence.

“Mine’s a rat,” Tyler said with his mouth full.

“You guys… got one too?”

“Ya. Mine is a dog or something.”

I realized my fist was tight. When it opened, the bird was crushed. Tyler set the empty bowls near the others. Ceramic bottles clanked together as he searched the cabinets.

“This ought to warm us up.”

“How you gonna pay for that?”

“Relax, Benji. It’s probably included. I’m just taking what is already mine.”

Austin let out a breath through his nose and joined in. I shook my head. There were no windows. I couldn’t tell if it was early or getting late. I needed to step out, just to show myself I still could.

The covered porch wrapped around the entire building. The rain cut in at an angle, so I followed the side that was dry. My mind struggled to imagine the length of the hallway from the outside.

Trees twisted into leafless trunks. Their roots pulled up the muddy trail that led us there. Near the end, a screen opened up to the interior.

The weak light from outside peered in. I could make out several wooden circular tubs. Something scratched against the floor. The closer I got, the louder it became. I took a step too close and the sound stopped. 

Even the rain.

It snapped its gaze toward me. A face pale as paper cut through the shadows. A girl.

“Did you… make this?”

I held out the crumpled bird with a shaky hand. She studied it with her fingers and nodded. When she handed it back, it was folded smooth again.

I looked up, her silhouette blocked the light in the closing doorway.

“What is your name?

Just before the screen had fully sealed me into the dark, she paused.

“Kami.”

I followed her. But instead of outside, I found myself in the hall. Had I gotten turned around?

I told the guys about the girl. They didn’t seem to think it was that strange. Tyler said he saw an old woman. Surely someone had to be making the food. Tyler stuffed his face. Austin picked at his.

“Tell your girlfriend to change out my bedding. It’s making me break out.”

“Good. I don’t want to see your face anymore,” I said, half-serious.

“Wait, Benji, you’re fucking that old woman?”

“Have a little respect, you guys.”

“Respect? Respect me, I paid for it. This is my house,” Austin growled back.

I was growing tired of Austin’s attitude and Tyler’s jokes. Sleep called out to me. I wanted to wake up early. To see her again. Kami.

I brought the origami gift to my lips and inhaled. Her face stained my eyes like a kiss from the sun. Whenever I closed them, there she was. Flesh, ghost white, but she was not dead. I could feel the warmth of her cheeks, blood rushing to the surface, the glow of a paper lantern.

A sound echoed through the decrepit home. It stole me from my dream. I grabbed my only source of light, my camera.

The steady drip drew me toward it. One of the rooms across from mine was open. The bath.

I stepped softly across the groaning planks. Another drop. Coughing. Choking. Water dripped from the roof into the moldy containers and onto my head. I crept further. The humidity filled my lungs, and I could taste the rotting wood. In a smaller room within, someone hunched over the hole in the floor.

Gargling. An awful gagging that made my own stomach knot.

“Ty?” I whispered with a scratchy throat. “Are you sick man?” 

He didn’t respond, only giggled between sludgy slurps.

I aimed my camera and the bright flash lit the room for a split second.

My feet stumbled down the hallway and into Austin’s room. I couldn’t speak, tell him what I had seen. 

“Benji? What… what is it?”

I handed him the picture of our friend. Licking the grime from the hole in the floor. Eating the filth. Smiling at me with teeth—black.

Tyler wouldn’t drink the water. We poured it into his mouth, and it leaked back out. I didn’t know what to do.

I needed her.

Austin flung open each screen one by one and called out. I stayed with Tyler. The barking and slamming of doors faded down the hall.

Finally, a light made its way up. Kami set the lantern down and kneeled.

“Look! Your fucking food made him sick!”

“Chill out man! She’s trying to help.”

Kami cleaned him up with a washcloth and we laid him down in his room. She placed something under his tongue and whispered words we didn’t understand.

We waited outside of his room, debating on taking him to a hospital. The storm warned us to stay in. Kami sealed his door and traced it a few times with the lantern. 

“Your friend will be okay, he just needs to rest.” Her voice relaxed me and I felt better.

“Tomorrow, we are taking Tyler, and we are getting the fuck out of this shit hole.”

Austin stomped to his room and slammed the screen shut.

I did my best to apologize for his behavior. Kami led me to my room. It used to feel so far away from the others. Now I wished I had more time to walk beside her.

She lit a small lantern with her own and set it on the low table. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand was resting on her shoulder.

“Please… stay.”

She placed her hand on mine. So soft. So cold. She brushed it away as politely as she could.

“If you need anything, my room is just one over. And Benjamin, please try to get some sleep.”

I lied awake for what felt like hours, though, time was confusing when you stare at a wall. The wall that divided us.

I could hear her breathing. Or maybe I was imagining it. Her chest rising and falling, her soft lips, the door of life. I blew out my lantern. Her light still glowed behind thin paper. My ear held to it. Movement. 

My eyes begged to see in.

I licked the paper and quietly rubbed it away. A small hole formed. I couldn’t get my eye close enough, so I lined up the camera lens and looked into the viewfinder. 

She held a small box with strange markings. I watched her trace its edges with her finger and repeat the same word. She hid the box and sat on her bedding, facing away from my invasive gaze.

She slipped a shoulder out of her clothes. My heart pounded in my chest. I feared its savage knocking would alert her. My grip tightened. My finger ached for the button. To steal this moment.

A quick rest to regain my strength, and I set the lens back on the hole. I decided on one last peek. When my eye looked in—another eye stared back. 

I staggered and the hole widened. Another hole tore through the paper and a second eye looked in. I spun around as eyes cut through the room all around me. I pulled at every wall till one opened.

I found myself in a narrow passage. It seemed to wrap around the back of the rooms. Strings suspended from the ceiling. Tied at the end of each one, a folded animal. I wove through the hanging forms until I recognized one.

The dog. Austin.

I let myself in. My voice cracked as I did my best to keep quiet.

“We got to get the fuck out of here. Now.” I shook the sleep from his waking body. “C’mon man, we gotta go.”

“I c-can’t open my eyes.”

“Quit fucking around, we need to leave this place.”

Lashes uprooted and skin tore as he forced his eyelids apart. I took a step back. He fought to reopen them with every blink.

“Help me! I can’t k-keep them open!”

His eyes closed permanently and smoothed over. Austin scratched at his mouth as it began to seal shut. There were no more holes, no eyes, no nose or mouth. Just skin stretched tightly over a skull, gnawing for air.

He kicked and his words muffled beneath his tissue. I watched him struggle. Helpless. His head smashed into the table. Bashing repeatedly, chewing on the corner until a hole wore through. 

A spew of blood and teeth erupted from the new mouth and he ripped it open to choke down the precious air. The wound quickly healed. He flailed and drove his face into the corner again and again.

I aimed the camera at his twitching body. The mess of mangled flesh and teeth that once was a face. My friend. I’m sorry.

When I found the paper rat, I swatted it away and yanked at the screen. It flexed but wouldn’t open.

I looked down to see Tyler’s head chewing through the moldy paper and wood rot. He forced his swollen body through. I backed against the wall, just inches away from his splintering bite. He nipped and I kicked. His taut skin snagged the jagged wood and ruptured. He burst, and I slipped in the putrid black sludge.

I ran through the hall, slid to the entrance, and pried open the screen to the outside.

My body gasped for fresh air, only to take in the suffocating moisture. Another paper prison. From its black corners, a nest of tangled hair reached out. Deeper than the shadows it hid within. Camera ready, I took aim. The dark presence strangled the room, and me with it.

“I tried to keep you. Keep you safe. Make it easy. Make you good.”

Something wet touched my skin. I peeled it up to see the girl sitting over me. Kami? She patted the damp cloth over my face. My body felt hot but I shivered. She spoke but the silence was louder.

No rain. No chirping from the birds.

“Promise me you will not go opening anymore doors. Grandmother is very old, she could get confused.” Her words were always so calm.

She assured me that my visions were only hallucinations brought on by the illness. I looked around my room. No holes in the paper. Nothing out of place. She said the others were ok. She promised if I obeyed her orders, I would get to go home.

Lies.

She tied a black rope around my wrist. It seemed to be twined with hair. She blessed it with her empty prayers. When she left, I ripped it off.

Was I really losing it? I checked my pockets and the photos were gone. Did she take them?

I picked up my camera. Under it was a single photo hiding facedown. I flipped it over with a nervous hand. The old woman. The light reflected her decaying smile, wrinkled skin, and oily mane. But it could not find the eyes. At the bottom was a message in my handwriting—

Don’t look

I heard the water running in the bath across the way. She wanted me to look. But I wouldn’t fall for that again. This was my chance.

I entered Kami’s room next to mine. It seemed much cleaner than the rest of the grimy house. I found the small box sealed with a thin piece of paper. It tore when I opened the lid. Inside was one of Kami’s paper creations.

A moth?

Underneath was a stack of pictures. Some were black and white. Most were old and worn. I wondered why her family photos were hiding in a box instead of hanging on the walls. Then I noticed all the women in the pictures, young and old, shared the same face. Kami’s.

The water stopped.

I scrambled to put everything back the way I had found it. As I made a break for the door, it opened. I was caught. She walked in and looked right at me. Through me. She sat, brushed her long black hair, and stared into nothing.

Her glassy eyes reflected the room without seeing it. The drumming of hard rain kept me hidden. I held my breath and set the paper bird down in front of her. Goodbye, Kami.

I slipped out into the narrow passage. The front no longer opened to the outside. I snuck towards the back. There must’ve been over a dozen rooms, each marked with its own animal. At the end, a few steps led me below the house. The boards croaked and dust fell as something passed overhead.

A single strand hung in the doorway. Attached to it, the moth. If there was a way out of here, the key was behind this door.

Symbols marked a thin piece of paper at a threshold. Just like the box, it tore when I pulled it open. 

I stepped on a lump of something soft. A dead rat I hoped. But I knew real animals kept clear of this place. I remembered the message I left myself. 

Don’t look

I pointed the camera and closed my eyes.

Snap!

The picture bloomed into view. Severed ponytails of black hair. They littered the floor in piles. I stepped over them and moved forward. 

Snap!

Scrolls with inscriptions lined the walls. When the light touched, they turned to dust. At the end, a giant tapestry hung behind an altar of dusty offerings and forgotten keepsakes.

I held the trembling camera out toward the tapestry to shine the light on the truth.

Snap!

Woven into the threads of the mural was a being of forgotten ages. Its many limbs spread out like flickering rays of a black sun. A pile of bones was its throne, and it wore a white mask of a human face.

I was not an animal in a cage. I was its food.

My camera fell to the ground. The impact was silent as it shattered into pieces. Another sacrifice left to decay in the shrine of the abandoned god.

I could hear nothing as I ran up the steps. Every door hung wide open, like I had picked the final tooth to an intricate lock.

I peered into the never-ending hall. Then sound. Vibration. Out of the void, she glided over to me, feet brushing the wooden floor without steps. A red kimono hung loosely on her small frame. Her paleness seemed to glow in the darkness that surrounded. I fell back into the hard floor like it was a soft bed. She climbed onto me.

“Kami?”

“You will not go opening anymore doors.” Her voice hissed with a new passion.

She writhed over me like something possessed, but it was me who was her possession. She was inside of me, and I was inside of her.

She moved in ways that didn’t make sense. Impossible bends, stretching that should’ve torn the skin. I turned into a feral animal, tongue wild and burrowing. 

Something foul caught my tongue’s tip, deep in her throat. It retreated and I tried to push her away. She held on tightly.

Her face twisted and the lines deepened. She decomposed before my eyes into a bent old woman. My entire body shuddered at the transformation, still inside her.

All of her features migrated into the center and were swallowed. A sunken hole remained. Shoulders merged with the neck. Elbows twitched and snapped to bend into knees. Breasts sagged and melted down the wrinkled body. A head emerged at our conjunction.

The soft flesh that once loved me grew teeth and bit down—draining the years from my body.

My bones curled and my skin wilted. Her limbs elongated and kinked with too many joints. I felt my hair grow long, then grey, and fall out. Nails tangled and knotted, ripping holes through my socks. Her spine pulled and cracked as her neck arched toward the roof. 

My vision blurred like a lens out of focus. When I was nothing but a frail old man, the thing shuffled off into the hall and left me to die. 

I crawled my way to the room that screamed for my help. I could hardly make out the fuzzy scene. One body grew as the other shriveled. The long neck swept across the room and came closer into view.

Its face was Kami’s, but it had many voices. When it spoke, her lips did not move.

“This is my house. Respect me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Relax. I’m taking what is mine. Take-Take-Take.”

“Why… me?”

“I tried to make you good.”

The thing with Kami’s face took the rest of her shape and stepped over me. The screen slid open to the outside. At last. The rain had stopped and the door I had been searching for was finally open. Her pale nude body stepped out into the night and walked beyond the reach of my milky eyes.

When they close, I can still see her face.

I became ill when I first saw him. Flesh pierced and pinned, death’s wings widespread. A king of thorns. King of ruin. In all my guilt, this callused heart could only feel numb. His eyes found mine. They followed me as I pressed my way through the crowd. His face was mine own, yet queerly unknown.

My son. What have I done to thee? My stomach turned again. Not for the breath of blood, but the sickness befallen a new mother.

I testify. A truth that has been sanitized. Rewritten. The word of God. But in my own witness, much is false. And God is silent.

Before the cross, my pain was simple. Foolish girl. I knew nothing of misery. At that time, I did not love the man betrothed to me. But Joseph was a good man, loyal and righteous.

Oh, Joseph, I did not intend to torment thee. Forgive me.

I had no desire for a husband or wifely duties. My stubborn heart only begged to be with child, to be with purpose. A mother, the pinnacle of womanhood. It was obsession. Though Joseph sought to please me, his faith would always come first. He denied my love for it was forbidden outside of contract. And so, my soul ached.

God? Why have you abandoned me? Am I not to be of your service, as a servant mother? My words touched the walls but could never penetrate.

Had anyone truly felt as hollow? A sheep does not know it awaits the slaughter. I was not so fortunate.

Can you hear not my prayers? Do my cries not sing loud enough? Can anyone hear me? 

Sleep offered its sanctuary. Exhausted of tears, my eyes dried in rings of crust. It pained me to open them. Why bother? I no longer sought the light. The sun faded on my skin, and I could not bear to watch it leave me too. In darkness, I turned and walked deeper into the black.

It was from there I would never return.

Something came to me in the night. A visitor. My mind had risen before my body. I seemed to be damp with a passing fever. The air thickened over my neck like bellows. A sharp talon cut the cloth from my back. I shivered as it dragged downward, exposing me to the night air. Fear held me still and desire stole a moan from my lips. Was this a cruel dream, sodden by needs unmet?

I woke, embraced by sin. And so sweetly had it held me. The answer to all I’d so helplessly bargained. In fire my savior bed me and together we burned. My heart stormed over the embers, and I wept from every pore. Before it was over, I understood this was no dream. Still I pushed against his thrust, still I cried his name in pure exultation.

Gabriel!

My body was no longer mine and I could not sway its violence. Joseph awoke beside me. His calls could not reach me. He shook my helpless body, writhing with the flames. He found my eyes rolling white in my head. A fist of hair would not hold me still and a laid hand could not break my spell. In desperation, he struck me with all his might. But it would all pale in comparison to my rapture.

My Gabriel! My salvation!

Control returned to me in waves. I was without breath, without words. Nothing to displace the fear in Joseph. How was I to explain my misdeeds, my condition? Deep furrows scored my backside. Scorch marks branded my hips. And worse, a smile cut into my face, the scar of satisfaction.

The work of an angel, I begged him to believe. An angel was not Gabriel, but an angel was my best chance of protection. I was plump with a child Joseph knew was not his own. It could not be explained. And so, my lie was accepted to spare what miracle might grow inside of me. Doubt glinted in his eyes. Still, he stayed beside me.

Dearest Joseph, I did not deserve thee. Each day sickened with remorse and each night yearned for the kiss of hellfire. Despite my conflicts, the child was all that mattered to me now.

Alas, the newborn king. Jesus had come.

He did not cry when he entered this world, or ever once after. I held him red with birth and blackened by filth. He turned to my searching eyes and his own knew more than any babe should know.

Dear God, what sanctity had I forsaken?

Everything I covet, all I wished for. Why then, did I not feel the bond that had been promised? A love between mother and child, that love like no other. Strange. Unblinking. He suckled with teeth an infant should not possess. Appetite, unending. I was milked to dust, then to blood. Days passed without connection. Months gone by, distance grew. A year parted our spirits. Even so, my responsibility could not allow for his execution.

A man who had killed his own sons would not hesitate to claim another. This appointed king did not favor stories of a miracle child and was after the Son of God. I took the baby and fled Bethlehem. Every child under two years of age was to be slain in his absence. I knew it would be so and still I denied his surrender. Did I not then wield that blade? My unpunished sins would always be my greatest punishment. I longed for the touch of God. Let it be his hand to strike me.

Whether I cried out or cursed his name, silence still echoed back.

What others called miracles, I knew them as something else. The animals bent to his will. If Jesus stood on the far side of the river, a lamb would drown to reach him. If a bird flew overhead, it would strike the ground at his feet. When the boy was a man, his influence reached beyond nature. His followers were faithful and blind. Falsity. To what end would they be led?

God, oh merciful God, what have I brought into this world? Holy he was not. But only I could see.

I never did hear that voice that spoke to others. But I had been in the bed of the beast, and I raised its heir. The devil is cunning. All that you wish for does not come without cost. I should have given the child up in Bethlehem. But now what could I do? How many more would fall? The earth was late for a solution. Still, I had to try.

Blasphemy.

A small whisper that would soon find its way to the church. The rumor spread as I intended. But what would come next could be no fault of mine.

Roman rule ignored religious crimes but punished any threat to the crown. The church knew as much. Instead of a heretic, they called Jesus king and the streets stirred with unrest. At long last, they crowned their false king and bound him to the cross.

I only wished to save them. Not this. Oh God, not this.

I stared up at the broken man. My baby. I had all but strung him up myself. Had I misstepped? Another innocent child cut down by my own folly? I could not know, for I had none to guide me. He scowled from his perch, looking down unto his offenders. Unto me. Darkness covered the land. We were all fools.

“Woman, behold your son.” His words shook the very ground beneath me. “In you, I commit my spirit.”

And thus, I was condemned. The gift for which I sacrificed my soul could not be forfeit. As the life drained from him, it returned to me. His promise. Resurrection.

I now lie in destitution. Alone again. Alone always. The growth is rapid and unnatural. I spew forth black gall, the sharp savor of venom. It closed upon my breath, heavy as pitch.

Please God, hear your servant’s plea. Give me mercy!

The devil’s womb can no longer contain what grows inside. I meet a suffering I have never known. I am cumbersome, yet I am empty. Nothing. I exist only to be his host, then shed. I watch him move beneath my skin. My hide draws tight, a thin veil through which his radiance shines. I hold in the evil as long as my mortal body can manage.

The bones of my hips give way to the pressure everlasting. Beneath me a pool of red mixes with dirt, to mud and black. I lament. The same passion that begged for my own child, now begs to be his.

Father, please hold me this once! Carry me to my end! I cannot bear it alone!

I split from below. The tears splinter through my body as I separate. My strangled cries hum beneath the rhythm of ripping and snapping. The song of a body undone. Steam hissing from the cracks as flesh curls to ash. Hell’s gate is open.

Heavenly Father, hear your daughter! Send me to the pits where I am bound, just spare me your silence! I only wish to know your voice!

Thorns of the crown claw their way out. A hole in me to mirror my hollowed heart.

He rises on four limbs, then two. His shadow devours me. My purpose is fulfilled and nothing more shall I endure.

Glory to the reborn king.

 

—

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