Paranoid about my weed derealization not going away
Hi this is my first time posting on reddit so I apologize if i posted in the wrong subreddit and if this is a bit choppy and long
Im 14 years old and around two days ago I stopped using a high THC strain pen and I've been feeling really uncomfortable and out of it since. Im posting this Wednesday night but on Monday morning, I got my pen back from a friend after lending it to them over the weekend. (It's kind of a shared friend group pen) and before class started, I took around 3 hits which is my usual. But during my first class in math I had a REALLY bad experience with the weed, I don't know why it was stronger than usual but it left me feeling so anxious and paranoid for the rest of the day after the effects went away. I think I greened out I dont know, but I also had a similar bad experience with the same pen a couple weeks back when I greened out for the first time at school and went to the urgent care after I passed it off as a concussion. My parents or the doctor didn't clock it was weed
Anyways after Monday morning I fully decided to quit the pen after having that experience, but since then I've been feeling really out of it and i think its derealization or some sort of dissociation. I'm really scared because in the couple months I've been regularly using the pen, this has never happened to me :( and the last time I felt like this when I greened out and went to urgent care, I feel like it only lasted like a couple hours before the feeling went away. But now I've been feeling really anxious and paranoid about my surroundings not really processing clearly in my head and its making me so stressed. I feel more out of it during certain periods at school (math class which was when I had the bad experience Monday morning, and health class which was when I greened out a couple weeks ago). It makes me feel really uncomfortable and I'm really stressed about the derealization not going away soon.
I have really strict parents and I would rather die than confide in them that I've been smoking weed. Today I left school early during health class because the derealization was particularly bad. I confessed to my mom at home that I've been feeling not real, but I told her it was because of stress for school (which it kind of is but it's not the root of the cause) . Im so, so anxious about this feeling not going away soon because school has been really stressful and I feel like i won't be able to focus on my studying when I feel like this. My friends are still users of the pen and when I confided in them about how I felt, the friend that introduced me to the pen in the first place told me that it might last up to a few weeks. It just made me feel more upset, and by the time I was in health class, I left early because I had went on Google and made myself more anxious by searching up how long this lasted.
Im so sorry for the long post but I feel like I need to relate to someone or have some solid reassurance because I'm really really upset and anxious and its making me dread going to school. I wasn't feeling the derealization at home but now that Im worrying about it, Im getting anxious in my own house. Will this feeling go away soon? I really don't want to get professional help because it would make my parents furious at me and I don't want to face my dad's wrath. I feel really guilty of using the pen in the first place and I just want it all to go away:(( if you have advice pls pls pls tell me:(