[IL] How does HR want me to operate in a "mediation" between me and my coworker?
Me and my coworker exchanged very blunt words the other day. I started it by very bluntly saying how I thought their approach was unhelpful right after de-escalating a situation with them and a client. They then snapped back at me in a way that was unprofessional. They went to our supervisor who said I will be in a mediation with said coworker and HR, but wasn't able to give me details. I just entered the workforce and do not really know what to expect, I have never met with HR. I am also anxious because I reflexively apologize for everything and am afraid that will be an admission that everything my coworker is saying is accurate.
I do want to just find a way to move on with them, but I have a sinking feeling that they are going to try to saddle me with some massive feelings of disrespect or harrassment and will not acknowledge their unprofessional comment toward me or the context of the situation We work in a high-stress field were de-escalation skills are a part of the job. Their behavior has been called defensive by both my other coworker and my supervisor, so I am nervous that the mediation will become heated and I am going to get flustered. I am secretly hoping their past behavior gives me the chance to just apologize for my wrongdoing and move on, getting the benefit of the doubt that this won't happen again.
I want to know the best way to respond to this in order to keep my job. Should I stick to just the facts and problem-solving? Should I apologize at all or move to solutions? If my coworker brings emotions into it and uses those buzzwords, should I counter with my own buzzwords of how their behavior has made me feel? What is HR looking for when they decide whether there needs to be disciplinary action after a mediation?