u/Affectionate-Cow9931

I love my boyfriend to death. He treats me well and he loves me. He makes me happy. But I feel like I'm missing out on so much in life by being with him. He was my first serious relationship and we have been together for 6 years. We spent the last 6 years doing long distance and I finally moved all the way across the country to be with him. He's not moving in with me right away which I don't mind. I love him but he sleeps so much. As im writing this hes sleeping. At his house while im at mine. He doesn't like going out and trying to get him to go out with me is such a hassle. He doesnt like doing a lot of the things I do like hiking and being outdoors. Or bar hopping and going different place and doing different activities. All he wants to do is stay home and play video games and lay in bed. For context I have only really been attracted to men for the longest time. Well surprise I met a girl. We have a lot in common and she makes me feel some sort of way that my boyfriend doesnt. Shes exciting and spontaneous and she likes going out with me. I have started falling for her. Now for personal reasons I could never be in a relationship with her but part of me is hoping that she has feelings for me too and that once and just once something happens between me and her. I never got to experience the whole dating or hooking up thing. I have never even kissed a girl. But I really want to. I want to do all of that with her. But I don't want to leave my boyfriend because at the end of the day I still want to come home to him no matter how frustrating he is sometimes. I feel so guilty and I feel like such a horrible person. He deserves so much better than someone that fantasizes about cheating on him.