This is basically just going to be a big vent so if you’re floating around on this subreddit feel free to keep scrolling. The post is as labeled, I just got a T2D diagnosis and I’m 18, turning 19 in a few months.
I want to say I have no idea how I got here but I honestly do. Both of my parents have had T2D for years if not decades, but neither of them had come clean about that to me until just three years ago. So I really didn’t know how tough of a spot I was in until now. I knew it was probably going to hit me, but I thought that was going to be decades from now. I had no idea it would get to me way sooner than I thought.
I think it’s also worth noting that I was diagnosed with BED (binge eating disorder) in 2023. I was overweight since I was basically born, and I developed insanely unhealthy habits since I was about 9. My family brushed all of this off, called my ED diagnosis ‘false’ and strictly refused to allow me to attend any kind of disordered eating treatment program. During this period of time, I tried things like cooking my own meals, fasting, and cutting food groups to try and control my diet, but I’d been feeling so unsupported and stupid over it all that I gave up.
I’d also developed depression in ~2018 that gradually worsened. I’d say the past couple years is the worst it has ever been, I was zoning out for almost more than 60% of my days, not remembering a single thing, crying most days over nothing, and finding zero enjoyment in like anything. Even the things I used to love felt meaningless and I was extremely close to throwing myself off into the deep end. All this to say, my mental health definitely enabled my BED to take off flying over the past couple years. I gained an absurd amount of weight and it wasn’t dragging my brain down because I had this mentality that it just wouldn’t matter in the long run because I’d expected myself to die.
Recently I gathered the courage to open up to my PCP about how bad my mental health is getting, and I want to give myself a chance to get better especially since I’d just started college. I was finally able to say these things out loud since I could now go to my appointments alone without my parents. But now that I’ve just been diagnosed, I’m just facing so much disappointment in myself for not asking for help sooner. I feel like if I pulled myself out of my slump I could’ve prevented this from happening, letting my eating habits get this bad and allowing my mental health to let me fall into the deep end and wreck my body until it’s unrecognizable.
I know there’s a way to help me get better but I’m just feeling so distraught because I’m so young and I still have yet to tell my parents. They were never really that supportive of anything I do even though I’m a really great student and all that jazz, they always found something to call me out on, and I feel like this is going to be the worst one yet. So yeah, I know there’s ’next steps’ for me, but I just need to cry it out and beat myself up a little first.