5 weeks ago I (32f) started an internship in an office. I need to do this for a whole year (I’m in Germany and it’s kind of 50% school, 50% practice).
Besides me there are 8 other interns.
The first weeks there were chaotic because the office was moving. Nobody really felt like they had time to show me or teach me something. Until a week ago I didn’t even have a computer, desk or password. It’s not like I was just standing around doing nothing.
I asked several times what I could do. Most of the time they gave me tasks like making coffee or shredding paper, while the others were allowed to do actual work.
But today well, I heard something that was quite hurtful.
I have ADHD, I’m shy, I’m quiet and I need time to warm up around people. I prefer to work in peace, but after some time I become way more open. I talk, make jokes and stuff like that.
I also have a couple of SH scars. They have never really been a problem before.
But one of the other interns (35f) told a lecturer that “something is mentally wrong with me” and that people shouldn’t trust me with too much work or important work because of it.
I was shocked. If you don’t like me, come for my face, my eyebrows, my hair, whatever maybe but not for my past. She has no clue why I did it. I don’t walk into rooms like “omg look at my scars, feel bad for me because of my past.”
Since I heard this I’ve really been struggling because it felt like a punch in the face.
I’m not weak because of my past. I’m not made out of paper. I can handle criticism, but this wasn’t criticism. It was just mean.
And yes I’m still struggling sometimes.
I honestly don’t know what to do now. Right now I’ll just go back, do whatever little useless tasks they give me and keep asking every day for more tasks, hoping they will eventually trust me.
Do you think I should go to one of the bosses and talk about it? Technically I can’t fully prove she said it and I bet she would either say she “meant it in a nice way” or deny ever saying it. And I know she kind of has the better cards because she has been there longer and is very liked.
Plus it would play into her cards in any way because well… maybe I’m overreacting? Maybe I’m to sensitive? Maybe I should just sit it out.
But she makes me really uncomfortable because she made me feel like I was idk a psycho with a Axt that throws chairs at ppl when the excel function isn’t working 😬😅