Girl friends traumatize harder
In high school, my friend group was my sister, another friend, and a girl I’ll call Eve. I had the tiniest crush on this guy and trusted her enough to tell her about it. I remember specifically asking her not to tell him because at that age I already felt so ugly, so big, so unworthy of being liked. I genuinely could not picture a world where a boy would ever choose me.
She told him anyway.
And when he responded with “I don’t like fat girls,” she brought those words back to me like they were nothing. Like they wouldn’t stay inside my head for years.
What I only recently found out as an adult was that she had actually been hooking up with him behind my back the entire time.
Honestly, life is funny because every once in a while I still see her around, and now she hides her face from me or avoids eye contact completely. But the truth is… I don’t hate her. I don’t even care. Time softened the wound. I think adulthood just has a way of forcing people to sit with the versions of themselves they used to be.
I think what hurt the most was realizing how dangerous it can be to hand your softest insecurities to the wrong people. Especially as young girls. Some people will use your vulnerability to feel prettier, more wanted, more chosen.
So if any younger girls somehow read this:
please protect the tender parts of yourself. Not everyone deserves access to your heart, your insecurities, your dreams, or your secrets.
And if someone humiliates you to feel validated by a boy, that was never your shame to carry. It was theirs.