u/Advanced_Milk_4091

I'm a first-year paralegal in immigration law. My firm does all sorts of cases, from deportation defense to business visas. It's been a steep learning curve, but I was starting to feel I was getting the hang of it until today.

I recently got thrown into working on a time-sensitive case for a guy who wants an O2 visa. To me, this is a complex type of case I've never worked on before.

One of the tasks I'm given is to draft an affidavit for the client, and I try to do my best. I drafted the affidavit based on the limited information I had. But any time I emailed the client to ask for clarifications, he reamed me out about how I should've already known x,yz, random detail about his life. So, it was even harder for me to figure out the case than it already was. But I kept trying anyway.

I make a draft of the affidavit and send it to the attorney, hoping for input. He never answers my emails about it. It's a time-sensitive case, and the client is complaining (harshly) that it's not getting done fast enough. Now I'm worried I'll be blamed for the case not progressing. So I asked another paralegal to look at my draft. We don't have any explicit rule about the attorney screening drafts of affidavits. The senior paralegal ok's it, so I assume that's good enough. I sent it to the client.

Then, a few hours later, I get this absolutely nasty, borderline abusive email from the client. At first, I think, "Oh no, I've gotten some major details wrong". But no, it was literally a few clerical errors in place names, etc. Stuff that he truly could have just corrected, politely. At most he could've lightly admonished me or asked for another person to be assigned to his case. But he's saying such wildly harsh stuff to me about how incompetent and unprofessional I am. How I'm treating his case "casually" and shouldn't have my current job.

Was this mistake really that bad? I always try to accept responsibility for my errors, and I realize typos can come across as unprofessional. But at the same time, this was a few clerical errors in a draft of a document I sent for the client to review, specifically so they could flag any errors or raise any concerns. And I felt that I did my due diligence before sending it to the client.

IDK, I had to take a break and cry a bit in the hallway, which I wasn't super proud of. I just feel like in this profession, you do tons of great work that goes completely unnoticed, and when you make a small mistake, everyone acts like it's Armageddon. And I know my attorney will throw me under the bus to placate the client. Because nobody sees how hard I'm trying, they only see the typo I made on a lengthy, foreign-language name buried in the first draft of one document.

I'm just wondering if other people, especially women, have tended to get this kind of behavior from male attorneys, and if anyone has advice on how to handle it if so.

Recently, I was busy working on something important for a client (cancelation of removal forms for a deportation case), and I had my head buried in my computer, thinking hard. A client walks past me to leave our office, so I just smiled and nodded at him politely. Wanting to stay focused on my work, I didn't say "have a good day" or go above and beyond.

The problem is a male attorney who tends to nitpick me saw me this happen, and decided to take issue with it. He starts out as if it's going to be a friendly conversation, saying, "Do you drink coffee?" and I cautiously say "Yes". Then he says, "Well, have you had your coffee today? Because you look tired" and then goes on an extended rant about how it was unprofessional not to verbally acknowledge the client. But then that turned into a passive aggressive lecture about my appearance, and looking "messy" and "tired" being inappropriate in front of clients, even though I'm wearing clean and professional clothes, brushed my hair, showered, etc. The undertone truly seemed to be really personal and critical of my physical appearance rather than anything substantive about how to do my job well. (Also, if I look tired, it's probably because I'm trying to STOP PEOPLE FROM BEING DEPORTED ALL DAY AND MAKING 30K/YEAR FOR IT!)

It all felt so degrading and weirdly gendered. I didn't know what to say because I was so shocked that he felt that was necessary/appropriate, when a simple reminder to say "have a nice day" verbally would have sufficed. Also, my male coworker didn't say anything to the client either and got no lecture on not being "friendly" or "presentable", but I did.

Also, this is the attorney who belittled me for making a mistake the same day I had to run out of the office crying because I got a call that my new born niece had severe birth complications and might die from them. But I guess that's a separate issue....

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of behavior? If so, how do you deal with it? I'm already planning to leave this office, but what do I do in the meantime? I can't tell him off or anything without risking leaving this job with no reference. And I don't think it technically crossed the line into harassment, where I could report him to the lead attorney or anything.

I was lucky to receive a very substantial merit-based scholarship to a great law school (University of Wisconsin). But even so, I'm estimating that my total student loans would be about 75-80k (undergrad and cost of living included). I hope to get into public interest or government work, which means that I'd only make between 60k-70k a year right after graduation (if everything goes to plan). But I may eventually qualify for PSL, and the salaries go up predictably, so there's a reasonable (not guaranteed) chance I could be making 6 figures within 10 years.

I also got into a lower-ranked law program (T-100) that's more local, with a full-ride. If I went to that school, I'd probably end up closer to 30-40k in debt, which is more manageable. The problem is, I don't love the program and would like to move away from my immediate region.

The idea of being 75-80k in debt is very scary for me, but it's at least a risk that might reasonably pay off. What would you do in my situation?