I’m so confused…
Hi everyone,
I’m 15M, bisexual, and I’ve been very confused about my sexuality recently. Like, I’ve always wanted to have biological kids with someone I love, but I’ve been having more romantic feelings for guys for the past 2 years, which I believe is because of my school environment. I barely met any girls at my age all this time, not to mention any girl crushes. Despite that, I feel more sexually attracted to girls, and I’m especially confused about that part.
I confessed to 2 real-life crushes, both of them being boys, during that period of time. I don’t know if I have bad luck or what, but the guys I find attractive are most of the time straight. The worst part is that the two guys told basically everyone in my class that I was gay and showed them my confession letter (I did it online and told them to keep it a secret). To be honest, I got quite angry and depressed because of that. Not that they rejected me, but that they broke my trust. I didn’t have the courage to talk to anyone for some time, because I knew they would mention it in a sarcastic tone.
As mentioned, I haven’t had any girl crushes for a while, but deep down, I want to marry a woman and have kids with her. I don’t really have a chance to meet any new girls at this moment, yet there is this girl who was a close friend of mine back in elementary school. She was the closest girl to me back then, and I’m sure she liked me back when I had a crush on her. We would text each other every night, and the conversations were never dry or awkward. I felt really happy about it but I never told her about liking her. Now we’re talking online again, and the feelings are kind of coming back, although we haven’t met each other for three years. So my questions are, should I ask her out? How to make her feel comfortable with me and not think I’m a creep? I know time has passed, and we’ve both changed. I don’t necessarily want a romantic relationship but rather a stable friendship. Advice appreciated 🙏