Ok so just for the record, this is not AI slop. I simply voice dictated what I wanted to share and then used AI to fix it, so if it sounds/reads AI like, apologies. I just asked it to revise and make it more concise but this was my experience and there are a couple of things I wanted to share that made a big difference for me.
-----------------------------
A few things I haven't seen mentioned much that really made a difference for me:
Start prepping before surgery. 3-4 days out, start drinking 2.5L of water daily with a big spoon of fiber morning and night. Do not skip this.
Follow your meds schedule religiously. If they say ibuprofen and Tylenol every 5 hours, set an alarm. I kept letting it slip to 6-7 hours thinking it was fine — it's not. Same with ice. I underestimated it completely. Use it constantly, it helps almost immediately.
The opioids will constipate you. Even with fiber and stool softeners. My first bowel movement was a solid 6-7/10 pain and that was with prep. The thing that saved me was Milk of Magnesia — it's cheap, it's everywhere, and it's way more effective than just stool softeners alone. Take a full dose before bed every night, especially while you're on the opioids. You want things basically sliding out on their own.
Get a bidet. I can't stress this enough. ~$100 on Amazon. Absolute game changer. Also do your sitz baths — if they say 4x a day, actually do 4x a day, especially after bowel movements.
Timeline: I work from home and still couldn't imagine being on my feet after week one. Plan for two weeks minimum. I was back at work at week 2, but kind of wishing i was at home, just like still itchy and stuff. Around the three week mark the itchiness got brutal — probably the hair growing back or stitches dissolving. Resinol cream helped.
One month out and I'm basically back to normal. And here's the moment that put it all in perspective for me: I was walking my dog in the woods last week when I suddenly got a strong urge to go. Pre-surgery me would have panicked — I used to need so much toilet paper, sometimes had to wet it first, basically trained myself to only go at home. But there I was in the woods with just a napkin in my pocket. Not only did I go in under 30 seconds, but the napkin was more than enough. Sounds silly but I almost celebrated right there in the trees. Being able to go to the bathroom without pain, to easily wipe your butt, and to go anywhere without being worried about anything is priceless.
I waited 10 years to do this surgery. Please don't be like me. If you've been on the fence and you're disciplined enough to follow the recovery instructions to the letter — just do it. FOLLOW ALL INSTRUCTIONS, ALL OF THEM, THE ICE, THE STOOL SOFTENERS, THE MILK OF MAGNESIA (THIS IS THE ONE THING THAT MADE A DIFFERENCE FOR ME BUT THE DOCTOR DIDN'T TELL ME TO GET), THE BADS, THE BIDET, THE DIET, ALL OF IT. If you cut corners, you'll feel like hell after that first bowel movement. But if you're diligent, it's genuinely manageable.
Las thing on the Milk of Magnesia, again, please do yourself a favor and get it for at least until your first couple bowel movements. Drink it around 8pm before bedtime and let it to it's magic.
Good luck to all of you! and thanks to all of those that posted so many useful pieces of info in here.