u/AdditionalSand3724

For the last 20+ years of my life, I’ve been experiencing what feels like an electric rush moving through my body. The first time it happened, it felt deeply pleasurable, like a spiritual opening , when I heard the call to prayer for the first time while stationed in Saudi Arabia.

Now, however, it mostly gets activated during meditation, and it can become so intense that I feel overwhelmed by it. At times it even becomes painful. Sometimes I’ll have a few good months where meditation feels manageable, and then other periods where I can’t make it past 10 minutes.

I don’t believe it’s a kundalini awakening, already consulted ppl on that one.. I guess I’m just wondering what other people’s thoughts are on it. My nervous system doesn’t seem capable of handling the intensity of the energy moving through me, but I wonder whether it’s actually a personal nervous system issue or if there really is just that much energy moving through me. Also I’d love to hear if anyone else had experienced this.

I guess apart of me is sad over it, when meditation is good, it’s really good and enjoy the connection I feel to the universe so I get sad when I can’t even sit for more then 10 minutes without feeling like I’m gonna to physical blow up.

I thought this was interesting and wanted to share.

Years ago, I bought A Course in Miracles and tried to read it, but I just couldn’t get into it. The language was so dense, and I had a hard time understanding what was being said.

A friend gave me a book by David Hawkins, which also sat on my shelf for years, until this past winter. Someone inspired me to finally read it, and I ended up devouring it in just a few weeks. At first, I had to constantly reach for a dictionary to understand the words being used. Fast forward four months: I’ve now read four of his books and listened to two more. My need for the dictionary has mostly subsided, though I still use it occasionally. I can now easily comprehend what’s being said. Then it seems to sink into my subconscious, incubate, and later emerge as sudden moments of understanding.

Recently, I picked up A Course in Miracles again, and this time I could understand it with ease.

Somewhere along the way over the past few years, it feels like my ability to process what I once considered complex material has shifted. It almost feels like a new superpower. When I think back to those earlier days, I remember an energetic heaviness, almost like a numbing sensation when trying to learn these kinds of things. Now, there’s a sense of lightness and spaciousness instead. That heaviness is gone.

I have two theories, and they’re probably both true. First, I think my level of consciousness has expanded, allowing me to more clearly discern what’s being communicated. Second, I used to believe I wasn’t very smart due to difficult childhood experiences, poor teachers, and not having a natural knack for English or math, skills that are often treated as the most valuable in society. Over the past decade, though, I’ve realized that I’m not unintelligent at all. In fact, I’ve worked in roles designing software in complex industries like space and places analyzing large scale government contracting data.

It makes me wonder, by thinking I was dumb, I pulled that attractor field towards myself, litterally making my brain numbed out. I pretty much lived in an illusion of not being able to understand and comprehend, and over time with the raising of my consciousness level and surrendering that idea of myself, I am now able to not only ready but truly understand what is being said.