I know I’m the bad guy here. I just need to get it off my chest somewhere. I know there must be people in my situation out there.
I’ve been in a relationship with this girl i met at an event. It played ok in the started but then, we just drifted apart sexually. I wanted to do it… but she just slowly got out of it. Even with multiple conversations about it… she just simply couldn’t bring herself to have sex. And that just made me frustrated.
We are each other’s best friends in most aspects. We share and know almost everything about each other’s lives. It’s hard to imagine a life where she won’t be around for me. A reason why I couldn’t break up with her even after we were intimately dead already.
Cut to recently… i met a very pretty lady through a common friend at a function. We connected on Instagram and then randomly she started replying on my stories and i loved the attention. Then eventually i started to flirt a little with her too. I wasnt going all in on flirting because she was a mother of a child, and married. And obviously I’ve not been in such a situation before. But I just kept doing it for god knows what reason.
And then finally one day I convinced her to come to my place. She did. We sat and talked for about an hour, all alone. It wasn’t going anywhere. It became more and more awkward. She tried to nudge why did I even call her at home where we could have met outside easily. I had no reply. I didn’t know what to do or say next. I was just blank. And then she finally left. Nothing happened. And the worst part is… I’m all spiralling because I couldn’t crack the deal. Not because I tried to cheat on my girlfriend. That thought’s not even there to begin with.
What the hell have I turned into? I’ll just repeat this pattern any time I get a chance again. I don’t want to be this guy.