u/AddendumNecessary484

just built my first ever PC. installed windows on it, now since i don‘t want to pay for official (or cracked) licenses, is massgrave my to-go? is it safe?

This has been going on for 1 1/2 years. It all started when I got into a relationship and I kind of isolated myself from my friends. Whenever they came over, something bad would happen, like someone would flirt with my gf or ask her „jokingly“ if she would cheat on me, things like that. At some point I would go months on streak without seeing any of them, because i didn‘t feel like it.
Now, when someone calls or texts me, asking to hang out, I get this horrible feeling of extreme anxiety. My heart beats so fast that my chest starts to hurt, I panic, I get so stressed out. My thoughts get all jumbled up, and the only way to soothe that is by saying I won‘t come.
I don‘t know if this is related to my friends or if it’s something else entirely. My friends do get kind of rude towards me sometimes and don‘t accept my boundaries (for example when I say no, i always have to explain myself and when I do, they say things like „you just don‘t feel like doing anything with us“ when i‘ve explained my problem to them multiple times) and they always switch up between being super nice to me, then being derogatory (especially when i don‘t come). But at the same time we get along quite well and it‘s always fun to hang out. It‘s just sometimes when they treat me like shit. I don‘t really get where this is coming from or what I can do, it feels impossible to go hang out when I feel like this even when I‘m just being asked if I want to hang out.
Anyone else experience this or know anything about this?

This has been going on for 1 1/2 years. It all started when I got into a relationship and I kind of isolated myself from my friends. Whenever they came over, something bad would happen, like someone would flirt with my gf or ask her „jokingly“ if she would cheat on me, things like that. At some point I would go months on streak without seeing any of them, because i didn‘t feel like it.
Now, when someone calls or texts me, asking to hang out, I get this horrible feeling of extreme anxiety. My heart beats so fast that my chest starts to hurt, I panic, I get so stressed out. My thoughts get all jumbled up, and the only way to soothe that is by saying I won‘t come.
It‘s gotten even worse since I broke up with her since she doesn‘t want to see me at all, and she was somewhat of a social anchor to me, made it a little easier to get myself to hang out with the others.
I don‘t know if this is related to my friends or if it’s something else entirely. My friends do kind of treat me shit sometimes and don‘t accept my boundaries, i always have to explain myself and they always discuss with me when I say I won’t come, say things like oh you’re just lazy and want to stay home etc. (I’ve explained my issues to them multiple times) and they always switch up between being super nice to me, then being derogatory (especially when i don‘t come). But at the same time we get along quite well and it‘s fun to hang out. It‘s just sometimes they treat me like shit. I don‘t really get where this is coming from or what I can do, it feels impossible to go hang out when I feel like this even when I‘m just being asked if I want to hang out.
Anyone else experience this or know anything about this?