I cast spells the best when I'm miserable
Hello I'm looking for some input and maybe someone out there who feels similar.
Several times now my spells came through to me when I was at my worst. I don't mean just while being upset I mean close to financial ruin, deeply depressed, close to giving up on everything, even myself.
For example last year I had a moment like that, I was crying on my bedroom floor and decided after years of work to leave the city I love because I just couldn't seem to achieve anything.
Literally in that moment I got a notification that a huge funding will come to me for a creative project I've written.
While I'm grateful every time things come through, I don't think it is very healthy or sustainable to completely unravel like this for it to "work".
I'd like to just have a bit more harmony in my life.
Can anyone relate to this experience? I'd say I'm very good at detaching from outcomes and being patient so I don't think it's that.