Does it ever ends?
Sometimes I remember a few times my mother was nice to me or a few good things she did, and I wonder if maybe she isn't that bad and I could forgive her or pretend I don't remember everything she's done because I know we'll never be able to talk about it and she will never admit she's done something wrong.
It's at those times, when I have to remind myself of every single thing she's done, so I don't make the mistake of letting her in my life again.
I haven't spoken to her in only 3 months this time. But, for the first time in my life, I feel stable and calm, now that I'm without her and I can't let her ruin that. Just the thought of talking to her gives me so much anxiety, because I know it will all end without a doubt the same way as usual.
I was thinking about that today, then came up with 25 reasons not to talk to her in a few minutes.
But, do self-doubts ever end?