"I can't wait for you to get better. I need you in my life"
maybe i wasnt the only toxic one. maybe we were both toxic. maybe we were two broken people who found comfort in our shattered reality. we fought to do better, to keep each other in check from our own trauma and baggage. turns out that doesnt fix any of our issues, or resolve the constant fighting, or mute the verbal lashes. only prolonging the collapse of our relationship that was built on nothing but salt and sand. it jarring to think about. for so long, after i got better, understood my emotions and controlled myself, i pushed you to do the same. therapy, self help, quotes, books, i gave so much options and choices but you never did treat me the way i treated you.
i wondered to myself why i wasnt enough for you to treat me better.
only after i left, and hearing accounts from people who assumed that i want to know about you, that i know youre doing better. maybe we were two broken souls, maybe we were two people carrying too much baggage, maybe we were two lonely kids who found some sort of comfort in each other. maybe i dont know
but i know now that the only thing we had going for us was spiraling each other and only serve to compliment each other's worst.