u/AdLate7163

So i am at around day 80-85 (didnt note when i started exactly) and i am getting wet dreams every 2 weeks or sometimes weekly.

I wasnt concerned in the beginning because i knew it would be normal at the start. I know that my brain has to detox from the abundance of porn i consumed over the years.

Tonight i had 2 wet dreams and the trigger is so fast. At one dream i was at my computer for about a second looking at a lewd image. I was thinking and telling myself in the dream that this is wrong and that i should stop but at that point it was already to late.

Its so hard to stop those dreams. During the day i avoid lewd images and images of women as much as possible but its so hard to avoid it completely. I mean i would have to avoid women at all costs even IRL to not get any slight triggers.

Anyway my question is how much sperm did i roughly lose after releasing 2 times during that night?

I really hope that i didnt fully deplete myself because this journey means so much to me and i dont want to start at day 0 everytime i get a wet dream.

This post might Sound harsh and i might get backlash but i dont Care.

I deeply and painfully fell in Love with a Woman about 5 months ago.

It wasnt Love at 1st sight and i never Had a Relationship before so i kinda was unsure how to handle the Situation. We both visited a course for people who Look for Jobs (its a German Thing, Not Sure how to translate it properly)

She wasnt 100% my Type at First but i really Liked her personality and she was also very nice to me.

Unfortunately i misread her Signals and when i Made my "move" on her i Had to realize very fast that it was a onesided Thing.

I have social anxiety so it was a very difficult for me to handle it so i broke down and cried infront of her. She gave me a hug and her number but after texting a bit i Had to realize that she wasnt into me whatsoever.

My Ego got hurt because Afterwards i questioned everything i did wrong or what was wrong with me. After that we never really seriously talked again and at the course we both ignored each other.

It was hell for me.

After the course ended i desperately tried to get a Text back from her but she ghosted me.

I put the Idea in my head that she was the right one for me. That she was my soulmate. That she would finally liberate me from my loneliness.

However she didnt Block me and also didnt remove me on IG.

The Last 5 months were pure hell for me but i ended up changing my Life for the better.

I now realize that i needed that rejection.

I was an unstable and weak "incel" who thought he deserved Love from the 1 st Woman he Met after Years.

I transformed my health, my Looks and my confidence for the better since then.

I removed her number and removed her on IG. I feel liberated. I now know that i deserve better than her. Sounds harsh, but thats the reality.

Im Not angry at her, but i am thankful that i Met her. She might remember me as a creep, but thats Just how it is...