I have a friend with whom I would have contact mainly through social media very regularly (read: multiple times a week).
We haven’t met up IRL this year, because we’re both quite busy with uni/work and have very different schedules overall.
We have a very special connection and used to say we’re so alike that it’s almost scary.
While I do feel like it is important to maintain a friendship to meet up in real life as well, it came as quite a shock to me when they suddenly stopped answering my messages a few months ago.
They have bipolar disorder and in the past they have gone off radar occasionally when they’re depressed, but never for this long.
After about 3 months of me occasionally sending a short update of something major that happened in my life and memes, they sent me a text during finals, saying they were sorry for not answering and that they haven’t been doing well lately.
Since I am one of the only friends from high school (or even people in their life) who knows about their BD, I have been quite worried, but trust that they know what is best for them, and will reach out whenever they feel comfortable.
Since then, I have sent a text asking if they wanted to talk about it, about a month later if they wanted to join me for my birthday party, with no response.
Conflicted between wanting to give them space, but also being unsure if maybe I have done or said something in the past few months to upset them, I sent them a message 2 months ago asking if they were alright, that they have no obligations to me, that I might live under a rock sometimes when it comes to anything happening in the world, and that might not align with them anymore.
However, I wanted to make sure if I had done anything to upset them without realizing it, because I would really regret that.
They left me on read, but I’m actually having a really hard time with myself because
I don’t want to overstep any of their boundaries, but selfishly I want to kind of know what’s going on, if there is anything I can do to help them and if any of my past actions have caused this.
I am worried about their wellbeing, because I know their lows can get really bad sometimes.
I simply miss talking to them.
A mutual friend of ours saw them a few weeks ago, but other than that I have no information.
As a final attempt to rekindle our friendship, I invited them to a party this summer, but they haven’t opened the message yet.
How do people who have been in similar situations navigate this?
I know it naturally happens with friendships from high school that life gets in the way and your friendships can drift apart, but to me it just feels very abrupt.
Obviously they don’t owe me anything, but I can’t help but worry about them.
Any advice please ?