My dad got fired
My dad (46) and I (29m) worked in the same restaurant for the past 4 years until our chef fired him last Sunday.
A bit of background: my dad was a lifelong alcoholic and got sober in the middle of his tenure at this restaurant. He narrowly avoided death, but his recovery was promising. His health bounced back relatively quickly condering he was diagnosed with moderate-severe liver cirrhosis.
Our relationship has always been rocky because of his drinking and behavior, but I love my dad, and I was incredibly happy to see him give a shit about..anything really. He made great efforts to reconnect with my baby sister and apologized sincerely to both my brother and I for what he put us through as teenagers.
It was a start.
Trouble is, he is an emotional toddler. His brain development has been terribly stunted from drinking so much, for so long, and from such an early age. He lacks the basic skills necessary to maintain work relationships. He was in a management postion directly under chef, and he abused it to bully me, and eventually our coworkers when he felt stressed or insecure. He moved to doing it to other people after I raged out on him during a service and took a week off of work.
He began using cocaine regularly at some point along this stretch of time; between when he first got out of rehab, and now. It only compounded all of his issues. He become more emotional and irritable. His usage waxed and waned for a while. I'm not sure to what extent, but I'm privy enough to my dad's abuse cycle. Shame catches up to him from time to time and he will attempt to reel it in for a while, maybe even succeed for a bit. He'll be in better spirits and is actually enjoyable to work with.
He cant keep it up though. All it takes is one bad day, one bad moment to make the day bad, and he's back to using and abusing regularly again. It has gotten to the point of him having overdrawn his own paycheck several times (we are allowed payroll advances at my job), one of which being shortly before he was fired.
It just sucks man. Both my parents were kids when I was born, so I get it, and I don't hate him for being a damaged man. I just wish it didn't always fall on my shoulders.
I had to be strong when my grandma, his mom, died, because he was a piss-drunk mess.
I had to take care of my brother and sister when they were little because he wasn't around.
I had to teach myself how to drive because my dad doesn't have a license.
I had to pick up my brother from the cops when he beat the shit out of his step-dad because my dad doesn't have a license.
I had to give my brother my blessing when he went into basic training because my dad wasn't around.
I have to be the de facto patriarch of my entire family when I, myself, am now caring for a daughter of my own.
And now I also have to take up his mantle as the sous chef at work, too. Just fuckin' great.
It's not even that I'm worried about taking the position. I'll be a great sous chef. It's not about work it all. It's just him. It's just another turd on a giant, steaming pile of shit that I am very tired of smelling.