Not able to understand what to do, mbbs doctor with bipolar + ocd
Hello, my qualifications is mbbs, i am 2022 passout mbbs graduate, i have had ruminations and social anxiety since childhood. Therefore my mbbs life was a mess, always anxious no friends and depressed, in 2020 psychiatrist prescribed escitalopram but i switched into hypomania, so i tapered and stopped. From 2020-2025 i have various physical symptoms, cognitive deficits like delayed recall, lack of sustained attention. In 2025 pain became centralized. Now i am diagnosed as c/o bipolar iii+ social anxiety+ ocd. And i am on lithium lamotrigine escitalopram and propranolol. But i always feel that i wasted many years, 2022-2024 i worked in different hospitals, last year i couldn't clear neet pg. Neet pg is in August 30, and i am feeling very anxious not even able to sleep. I Have no social life, professionally i am not that good, i feel like dying. Feels bad that even after struggling for so many years there is nothing else in mbbs, and i have to clear this neet pg. Now i am saying improvements in mental health but i feel its too late, many psychiatrists didn't diagnose bipolar and kept increasing ssri, which made it worse, then i met this brilliant NIMHANS professor in December 2025, but i feel its too late, i cant take one more drop.