u/Acrobatic-Target-750

Every time I try to fall back on my faith, I get thrown for another loop and I just wonder if God is really there.

I sat down with the team at my mom’s AL to voice my concerns about her care. I’m there every other day but after almost 3 weeks I am just now hearing about her wandering at night and sundowning. Apparently she rolled another resident around in circles around the community. I’m finding that hard to believe. I talk to the staff whenever I go and nobody told me that! All they tell me is she’s really sweet. I’m just supposed to believe what the leadership team says? The last couple of days she’s been packing to go home. I see her on camera and then call to talk her down but it doesn’t change anything. It’s almost time for the 30-day reassessment and they’re talking about MC. I was upset she missed a shower last weekend but today was told she refused a it 3x but I don’t have anyone on camera offering her a shower let alone 3x. I’m never getting any rest or getting over this anxiety am I?

EDIT - I truly believe they get you in there and then just start making stuff up to increase the cost. Because you’re kinda stuck at that point..

I’m an only child. I am my mom’s guardian. I am her healthcare and LTC advocate. I cannot count on anyone in our family stepping up. What would happen to her if I became incapacitated or died? Who would fight for her? Would she become a ward of the state? I feel like I need to plan for this contingency. I never bought life insurance because I have no spouse or kids. But should I make plans for an executor or something? Yes it’s late and I know I’m over-thinking.

I am sitting here stressing tf out. I checked my mom’s camera tonight (I’ve been much better about not checking it all the time) because I was curious about her shower. No shower tonight. But I remembered it was 1st shift assignment. So I scrolled back through the day and they didn’t shower her today! I asked 2nd shift about it and was told it was switched to Sunday. So they just treat these shower days like they don’t matter and it’s pissing me off. It’s inhumane and an affront to her dignity! They’re also supposed to take her to the bathroom every few hours and they don’t. She’s been better about going when she has to, but I have no way of knowing if she’s cleaning herself well.

Why the heck is she paying all of this money?! If they’re not going to shower her or make sure she’s wiping herself, they need to take that off the bill and I’ll hire a private caregiver to come in! God this was supposed to make life easier but it’s not! I’m sick of having to babysit these people. And why do I have to tell them to close the damned blinds after they give her her bedtime meds?!

EDIT - people, she is NOT refusing her showers. As I said I went through the video recordings. Showering is not even mentioned.