Am i overreacting for wanting to talk to my husband l
So im keeping alot of things anonymous because my husband reads reddit. I (30f) have been married to my husband (40m) for 10 years. We have been going through a slump lately. I have been struggling to open up to him on multiple fronts. I will admit i am a very sensitive person. I take everything he says to heart. Especially when we fight. I feel like that's when the real truth comes out. Now during these arguments he has said alot of things that i just cant simply let go of. Some examples are when he said every therapist has told him to leave me. Not sure if he's being serious but it has me questioning what if they are right? It really puts doubts about us in my mind. Another example is when he said my emotions are mine to control and if i take offense to his words then thats on me. The way i see it is i value him therefore his words mean something so how can i not take things he says to heart. I feel he is dismissive towards my feelings and over time i have shut down emotionally on him. During my emotional shut down i decided to seek counseling because i went into a depression. During therapy i have been working on myself and trying to let him in. But in reality I don't feel like it. Tonight is an example of why i don't think its safe. I asked him can we talk. His response was " um maybe you should wait for your counseling session tomorrow. " i felt dismissed instantly. I was literally crying when he said this. I needed someone in that instant. I found myself relying heavily on my dear friend. I find myself leaning heavily on my friends. I don't think its healthy but its better than being in my thought by myself. I long for my husbands companionship. I miss it so bad. He used to be my rock. But as time goes on i find my avoiding him emotionally at all cost simply because i don't us to fight or be at an impass. I wish we could agree on so many things but thats just it, a wish. I feel so emotionally neglected in my marriage i know a chunk of its my own actions of shutting down but how can i reverse this without feeling hurt and neglected by him? I don't want a divorce