Throw away and changing some key details because idk who is on Reddit.
This whole story is turning me off to the religion and I find myself saying for the first time, “I hope my children find the strength to leave the church one day”. I hate this thought and I don’t want it but maybe I do, not sure.
I live on the east coast in the US. For Mother’s Day, the parish that I’m registered at is planning to offer Mass intentions next Sunday for mothers- deceased and living. I went to go sign the name of my mother. After I wrote it, I noticed at the top “requested offering $25”. I asked the man running it if it was necessary and he said that everyone has paid. I crossed my mom’s name off the list and apologized. We then asked a priest where the money was going and he said to buy flowers for moms on Mother’s Day at the church. I told them i don’t feel comfortable paying for prayers (I also can’t afford that at this point in my life). They said it’s not just prayers, it’s a Mass intention. I said it still feels wrong because it’s elitist and i compared it to the reformation. The priest had left at this point and a deacon came running up to me and said that the money for a prayer intention made it a legally binding contract between God and the church and without it, he would have no obligation. I was told an unpaid Mass intention is not legally binding. I asked about the poor and he said the church will have mercy on them but this is the churches teaching and that teaching was given by the Holy Spirit and God to the people who wrote it. He also said it’s contractual under canon law. I asked if we could agree to disagree and he just kept attacking me and accused me of not believing in purgatory and saying there are a lot of souls in hell and it left a bad taste in my soul. I’ve tried to leave the church multiple times but I just can’t and idk why. I really would like to leave it now though. He made me feel like I’m going to hell and that I’m not Catholic for not supporting fully every aspect of Catholic dogma (such as the canon law he referenced). It ended with him saying to go put my moms name on the list again if it’s that upsetting but the pain of crossing it out if ripping me apart. My mother is severely ill and I thought it would be nice to have everyone hearing her name and praying for her but I only have $30 to my name at the moment and I have children. Is this spiritual abuse? Is this really true?