u/Accurate-Rain8186

he wears the wound
his shirt wears him
work splashed onto it

the dirty shirt-
now, stained

his lips
crumbled, greenish purple
as if a kiss could poison you

his eyes can't reflect her
they reflect the ground

his mothers breath
his faint breath
her high pitched vocals
his harsh sighs

her hearts rhythm
could start an earthquake

while his,
could be a lullaby

the child is asleep

he wears the wound
his shirt wears him
work splashed onto it

the dirty shirt-
now, stained

his lips
crumbled, greenish purple
as if a kiss could poison you

his eyes can't reflect her
they reflect the ground

his mothers breath
his faint breath
her high pitched vocals
his harsh sighs

her hearts rhythm
could start an earthquake

while his,
could be a lullaby

the child is asleep

i’m pretty new to poetry and was wondering if anyone could give me feedback on this piece.

this room and i
my brother as well
yet we exclude him

i look up to him
my eyes reach his chin

his eyes fixated on a screen
a screen where men wrestle

"i'm him" he says
well not literally,
but i guess i'm the other

his eyes hold each end of his mouth
his tiny palms push my chest

my high pitched laughter
blends with his

his arms wrap around my neck
his skinny bicep
touches the back of my hair

my body lands on the pillows

each one of his sharp knees
nail my inner shoulders

my knees punch
his back; his spine still shows

a grin smacks his face
his fingers hold the blanket

now pinned to the mattress
it molds my face

"brother stop"

my eyes covered, though not closed
the room disappeared-
this soft fabric is the room

"BROTHER STOP"

the weight of 30 children-
no, adults
crushes me

my heavy breath can't reach him
it stays on my glasses

the blanket's hands cover my mouth
my tiny heart,
now bigger than an adult's

if this was a joke,
i would never laugh again

my mother hears my cries
her sandals echo through the hallway
loud enough for my brother's feet to shake

her left hand opens the curtain
which we use as a door

she grips my brother's forearm
drags him
his knees on the concrete floor
his eyes face the corner

the top of his head
the height of my shoulder

older child, now endure
my thirty second suffering
for thirty minutes

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dbO4Ve14Yk
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/avKldGe1Lx