u/AccomplishedOne6897

I’m not sure how to feel right now. Honestly, I’m disappointed in myself because I feel like I re-opened a wound I worked hard to heal from.

For context, I was seeing a guy on and off for months and I became really attached to him. Toward the end, I spiraled a bit emotionally and confessed how much I liked him and how the situation was hurting me. After some back and forth, he eventually ghosted me. Looking back, I know I didn’t handle everything in the healthiest way, so I accepted it and left him alone.

We also went to the same gym, which made things awkward. For months, there was barely any contact and he’d avoid me at all costs.

Then after 7 months of silence, he randomly messages me: “So, I heard you’re going on dates with 60-year-old men?”

I genuinely have no idea where he got that from. I recently started putting myself out there again after being celibate for a long time, but that comment caught me completely off guard.

I responded with, “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” and now he hasn’t replied. Part of me regrets responding at all because I feel anxious all over again, like I allowed him access to me after finally moving on.

At the same time, I don’t understand why he’d even care or why I’m apparently being talked about in the first place.

Even after two years, I still look her up… and they’re still together.

The crazy part is, he doesn’t really cross my mind anymore. She does.

I was seeing this guy for about a year and I genuinely fell hard for him. He treated me poorly in a lot of ways, but I had never liked someone the way I liked him. Toward the end, something in me kept telling me another girl was involved. My intuition would not leave me alone.

Turns out, he had a girlfriend the entire time (he’s literally a serial cheater).

I found her and told her everything. She stayed with him. They both blocked me. Recently, he unblocked me, and his profile popped up in my suggestions. I blocked him immediately because I refuse to go through that cycle again.

But for some reason, I still look her up sometimes.

I think I compare myself to her to this day. What did he see in her that he didn’t see in me? Why was she “worth” keeping and I wasn’t? I compare our lives constantly. She recently graduated from a dental hygiene program, and meanwhile I’m over here getting my master’s degree and just accepted a really great government job. On paper, I know I’m doing well for myself. But emotionally? I still feel stuck in this weird comparison loop.

It’s honestly exhausting how one situation can affect your self-worth for years, even after you’ve moved on from the actual person. How do I move on from this?

Even after two years, I still look her up… and they’re still together.

The crazy part is, he doesn’t really cross my mind anymore. She does.

I was seeing this guy for about a year and I genuinely fell hard for him. He treated me poorly in a lot of ways, but I had never liked someone the way I liked him. Toward the end, something in me kept telling me another girl was involved. My intuition would not leave me alone.

Turns out, he had a girlfriend the entire time (he’s literally a serial cheater).

I found her and told her everything. She stayed with him. They both blocked me. Recently, he unblocked me, and his profile popped up in my suggestions. I blocked him immediately because I refuse to go through that cycle again.

But for some reason, I still look her up sometimes.

I think I compare myself to her to this day. What did he see in her that he didn’t see in me? Why was she “worth” keeping and I wasn’t? I compare our lives constantly. She recently graduated from a dental hygiene program, and meanwhile I’m over here getting my master’s degree and just accepted a really great government job. On paper, I know I’m doing well for myself. But emotionally? I still feel stuck in this weird comparison loop.

It’s honestly exhausting how one situation can affect your self-worth for years, even after you’ve moved on from the actual person.

accepted tjo for an asylum officer position - gs7. pay is so low and hopefully, I’ll have my masters by the fall of 2026. I tried asking If I’d be able to pivot to gs9 once I receive my diploma and was basically told no💔 not sure how I’ll survive for a year on a $57k.