Stuck in Potty Training - Kiddo Unwilling to Pee or Poop Not in Diaper
Hey all! We are working on potty training our son (4.5M, ASD Level 1) after a very very long time of zero progress and multiple unsuccessful attempts.
Several months ago, after always being a mix of resistant, unaware, and/or terrified (of the toilet mostly), he made a bunch of progress out of the blue (helped by very small candy bribes). Now, at home (we aren't really working on other locations yet), he is becoming quite proficient at getting onto the toilet, doing his thing, flushing, cleaning himself, washing his hands, etc ... EXCEPT he MUST pee or poop into a diaper. Anytime that he has the diaper off, regardless of whether he is on a toilet, on a little potty, or just around the house, he just can't let it out for some reason ("it's very hard!" is what he tells us, and when asked, he says that he doesn't know why it can't come out and that he needs a diaper for it to happen). I have tried a bunch of things: the biggest bribes I can think of, staying with him a long time to help, leaving him alone for a long time to try in a relaxing environment, counting down the number of days before we CAN'T go into the diaper anymore, seeing if he will just put it together one of these days ... nothing seems to help and we've been stuck now for the last month or so. I imagine there is some sort of psychosomatic anxiety or something going on? Because he clearly exhibits some level of bodily control here, as long as the right context is there.
Has anyone else encountered this before or something similar? I'm open to the possibility that maybe he just needs more time and that he'll just be ready when he's ready ... but it feels like we're SO CLOSE! I would love to get us over this hump sooner if possible, so wanted to see if someone happens to have a similar experience or helpful ideas here!
A few more details (major impacting areas) about kiddo:
- Language delays (late initial speech, followed by lots of echolalia, though has improved greatly over last 12 months, now main difficulties are some persistent pronoun reversal issues + ability to ask/answer questions)
- Dyspraxia (significant fine motor impact, mild gross motor impact)
- Social anxiety (very loving and snuggly with closest circle, but otherwise terrified and sometimes verbally aggressive towards unfamiliar people, especially peers ... adults less-so)
- Younger sibling (4month-F) was born in January this year (generally loving and accepting towards sister, though has seemingly typical jealous and impatient older sibling moments/feelings)
- The timing here is interesting (since I know a lot of older siblings typically experience regression in areas like toileting following the birth of a younger sibling) ... whereas our son made a bunch of progress soon after becoming an older sibling until he got stuck. Maybe it's all connected? Would love thoughts and ideas here too if folks have any!