u/Accomplished-Cat3867

My photos never transferred from my iPhone SE to my next phone for some reason. I regret not doing something about it 6 years ago but here I am. Tried a bunch of passwords but none were correct. It’s listed as a trusted device on my current phone so is that helpful in any way? I am assuming they were not backed up if they didn’t transfer but I know close to nothing about how any of this works. Thanks!

In my opinion the DSM-5 is a load of bullshit but at the same time I tell myself it is a disorder because otherwise I succumb to it. In order to have my compulsions under control I tell myself this is an illness. The obsessions I have and the compulsions and rituals are insane enough to ruin my life and that’s the sad truth. On one hand I don’t want to believe in mental illness as anything other than a social construct. Some people decided what is and isn’t socially acceptable or deemed normal and now we all get labels because of it. On the other hand, this really does make me feel awful every second of the day. It does make me sick. I don’t want to believe I am mentally ill. But if I accept how I feel as just how I am, I will spiral even further. I cannot think of my thoughts as rational because it makes everything worse. I would not wish this hell on anyone. Not this and not protracted withdrawals which I had and PSSD which I have. I hate the thought of going back to therapy but I’ve been contemplating for months. So I try doing ERP on my own. Doesn’t help when the obsessions won’t go away. Great I avoided my compulsions so I get to continue freaking the fuck out. I am afraid I’m far gone. I just bought NAC and hoping it helps. Truth is I can never trust my brain because of this. And the cognitive issues from PSSD make it even worse because my thoughts are so disorganized. I never had cognitive issues before the SSRIs I was put on against my will 9 years ago. OCD on its own is one thing but OCD and not having any desire to live and all my interests being gone and no excitement about anything is making me think about suicide multiple times a day. As controversial as it may be here, I do want a safe and effective treatment for the sake of the quality of my life and others. I am really suffering.