hi guys.
so i never thought i would be posting on here, but I lost my period at the beginning of fall semester of school (I go to uni in the US) and saw it for the first time again yesterday evening, and have been bleeding since then.
I lost my period around October and had been struggling with undereating in the following months when I started counting calories. I was confused because when I lost the most weight was after I had already lost it, so I didn’t know if the two things were related or not and felt frustrated when all the advice online said to just gain weight and workout less.
Recently, I realized that though losing weight rapidly didn’t help, I think there were other factors at play, ones that made “all in recovery” (something that I would 1000% recommend as a tool but was too scared to do myself because of well, my brain) not necessarily the key to solving the issue. First of all, before october I had been struggling with purging food. I didn’t binge really, only purged after feeling guilty about eating practically anything, and I also weight lifted every day without failure. (I started lifting and going to the gym for the first time this year and never had before, only done some sports in HS). Secondly, when I did decide I was done with purging food and was so mentally and physically drained by it, I coped by deciding to calorie count instead. While I don’t think that it’s inherently harmful, the way that I felt in control was by only eating packaged protein bars for every meal of the day. Yep, I would eat about 6 times a day, and they would all be a protein or RX bar, totaling around 1400-1600 calories. I am 5’8”.
So basically, a living hell, and I knew that while calorie counting in my brain was “healthy” everything felt wrong. I was eating processed bs for every meal and felt like there were holes in my stomach, I knew it was unnatural and just not right. I lost a lot of weight but I had so much body dysmorphia I didn’t even really notice until my clothes stopped fitting because my body still looked the same. I knew something had to change, so I decided to try and switch to mostly whole food (like 60-40 tbh didn’t want to be that strict) and not calorie count just listen to my body. I’ve gained the most of the weight back that I lost even though I’ve still struggled with a couple purges here and there and still actively go to the gym (every day, but weightlifting every other day instead of every day and incline walks every day). Even though I still struggle with body image, I didn’t gain more than I lost / overshoot and I DEFINITELY didn’t go all in because I was too scared to.
I’m not saying that this will work for everyone, because everybody’s body is different, but genuinely the biggest change that I made was giving myself slightly more rest and changing WHAT I was eating rather than how much. I definitely eat more calories, but not by an obscene amount, maybe 1700 average and sometimes a little more which don’t get me wrong isn’t as much as I should be eating, but my point is the main difference is that I just switched from a limited calorie intake of mostly bars to a limited calorie intake of like, salad and sandwiches.
Though I don’t think this approach is the best one because it definitely will not work for everyone, I think it shows that nourishment and making sure you’re getting in a balanced diet of different nutrients is the most important! Please eat guys I was probably malnourished on those cardboard protein bars!!!!