This is my first time ever posting or using Reddit if not for random answers that show up on google searches. I guess you can say I've gotten to a desperate point to get answers for my dreams. Yes, I know that some people say dreams are what reflects back on your own life, but the truth is, I've never seen a dream represent that, save aside for a few.
I will list and describe my dreams below before giving an explanation and rant onto what exactly I'm trying to get help on.
Dream 1: Virgin Mary (religious)
I'm not a Christian anymore, or maybe I am, I have zero clue. But when I was younger, my family and I went to church every Saturday/Sunday and we'd pray sometimes. For some reason my mom claims today that we weren't that religious in the past, but I remember her being a lot into religion when we were younger. Still is, somewhat, although not as much(?). Just differently.
Anyways, the dream I had was based on the Virgin Mary. Me and my sister were having a good time, skipping and laughing, and on the bicycle or whatever. Then all of a sudden we appear in what seems to be hovering above a bottomless pit, a large hole that seems to be a cliff which was super dark, you couldn't see anything. It was completely silent, until there were fuzzy clouds. By that point, I realized my sister wasn't with me anymore, it was just me in the eerie silence. Then a distorted image of Virgin Mary came upon me. I don't remember what she even said, specifically.
But I remember waking up scared because it was so creepy. I told my mom about it, and apparently said that the Virgin Mary told me to take care of my mom. My mom said I should feel glad and happy that she visited me in one of my dreams. But I just felt disturbance. Something was so off about that dream, I still think about it sometimes, even now.
Dream 2: Christian store (religious)
Now this is a dream I've had so many times, it's not even funny. I hate it so much. But not really? I just don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable.
The scene usually starts in a dark room with warm lighting and what seems to be dark red/pink walls. A bed and the floor is completely wood, as in wood that is at the bottom when the flooring hasn't been placed yet.
It's a good time now to mention that I can't control myself in my dreams. I literally can't control how I move or do anything. The dream just takes me along with its script and I have no other choice than to follow along. This is why I don't really like dreams, because I can't make my own choice, ever.
Usually when I have this conversation with my mom, the next night I dream this exact dream.
What she told me in response was to pray every time I'm in a dream I don't want to be in/dislike. I told her I can't because I have zero control over what I do when I dream. But for some reason, that seems impossible for her because she always has control in her dreams (somewhat) and so have many other people told me.
Anyways, back to the dream. After waking up in that room, you head down a hallway that leads to a store. You can picture Lowe's or Home Depot as an example of what it looks like. Crates filled with things and metal shelves and sections that contain wrapped boxes and different content. Except, this time, I have full control over the dream. This is the only dream (as far as I'm remember as I type) that I can control my movements. The thing is, though, there's nothing bad about this dream. At least, I think. It's just weird in general.
The contents in the shelves and crates and everything else is just Christian merch. Little statues of Jesus, Virgin Mary, different kinds of angels, all that stuff. But the dream is uncomfortable because at some point, the store is really dark further up ahead, and you can't see past a specific point. So I do what my mom told me to do: pray to get out the dream.
And it doesn't work! I pray over and over again and even start crying because I get scared of the dream despite there being nothing wrong with it. I don't remember how long it takes but I wake up. It's never pleasant though. Always leaves me feeling uncomfortable and yet also waiting for the next time I dream it again.
This is why I stopped talking to my mom about my lack of control in dreams because every single time we do, I dream that same thing again.
Dream 3: Circus and a Crowd (not religious)
This dream came out of nowhere and honestly, I have zero idea what it could even mean. The other dreams could probably be described and written off as religious trauma or whatever but this one I have zero clue why it even exists. The scene of the place was black, white, and gray. All kinds of shades. The floor of the longest hallway contained black and gray (almost white) squares. There was a store near there but that hallway was mostly used for people. I don't even know what I was doing there but apparently I was friends or became friends with this girl and she rushed me into the weird pottery story that contained pots and plants.
I don't know what happened but at one point she got violent and angry with me, trying to stab me with scissors. I ran away and it was when there were multiple people passing by in the hallway, it was packed and crowded. There was this guy who looked like a clown (not an insult, just observation of literal appearance), but a different kind. Not the goofy ones but one with black and white accessories and black and white face paint. Honestly, it looked a bit fancy.
Anyways, he had a lion on a leash but let it go and it bit my leg. Obviously I didn't feel pain but I was yelling in that dream because, duh, my leg. He got the lion off me, and was honestly super rude about it, acting like I caused a disturbance. That was the end of the dream. I don't get what it means at all.
Dream 4: Trailer Home (prediction)
I had a dream about an empty trailer, with a big window and an empty bunk bed. It was dark out, but sometimes it switched to a grey setting. Sometimes it switched to heavy rain. I had a conversation with my sister, which I don't remember.
A couple of years later we bought a trailer for the family and the room I dreamt about (unprompted, I've never thought about moving or bunk beds as a whole) is the room I have now. Not as creepy, maybe, I just don't get it.
Dream 5: Classmates
Every once in a while I have a dream about a school that seems endless and impossible to navigate. It's very weird. But I always dream of the same classmates which I've never been friends with. Derek, Andy, Carlos, a few dozens of people I barely remember by face or name until I'm in that dream. I don't talk to them, I just see them pass by when I'm trying to navigate the school. And again, I can't control myself in dreams because if I could, I would've tried to talk to literally anyone there.
It's kind of funny how I made this post to write up all my dreams and yet now they're slipping away like eels. Strange because I usually remember the specific ones a lot. And now that I'm actually trying to get help they're just vanishing like that.
I'll add to this later (if that's possible??) but these are all the dreams I have. And to give further insight on my situation, I'll tell you a bit more. I have paranormal experiences, I've had strange encounters with family and claims of things that didn't happen (according to them) but I remember perfectly. And let me make this clear, I have a terrible memory, but if I say I remember something with 100% confidence and I am talking about a memory from years ago? it most likely happened. So it's strange to hear that the very few memories I hold onto are denied on the occasion I explain them.
Okay, so paranormal experiences, weird dreams that relate to mostly absolutely nothing I read, watch, or even think about, weird encounters with family, and strange instances of deja vu at times as well. I'm pretty sure there's something else I'd like to mention, but it slipped my mind once again. Someone just please tell me what they think is going on in my dreams or literally anything.
It's been years and my family "hates" negativity talk (unless it's about them) and I don't like bothering my friends about it so they don't think I've lost my mind. Please help!!