Feeling disgusted from the past
I was scrolling online and I saw a picture of my ex. I felt so disgusted that I ever dated him, let alone for as long as it was. Its been years- (we dated in highschool till college so 3 years), I forgot about him, but man seeing him actually was so unfortunate cause all of a sudden I remembered how incompetent, mean, and horrible he made everyday feel for me. He was also very unfortunate looking, even more now.
Though I forgive him for the assult, all his sexual demands, extensive labor, and emotional hurt. I can't help but feel so grossed out. It makes me feel sad how someone could hurt another person like that, let alone someone who did so much out of "love". I know I have a lot of good values and I was never mean or disrespectful in the process of us ending things. But it disgusts me so much it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I dont know what to do or how to stop this.
I cant help but feel bad that I even thought of him, because I am with the love of my life. My handsome, sweet, hardworking man, who has lit up my life and been there for me in every low and success. He has pushed me to achieve all my dreams, and put his entire soul into making my life more bountiful. He choses me, and we planned to get married in 4 years. I love him so much, and I have never been so in love. However I feel so bad that I am thinking about someone I used to know, let alone so much. But im staying hopeful since it's only been today.
Any advice or thoughts I would appreciate ☺️ thank you