(being a tattoo artist is NOT the main issue here, i just didnt know what to title this as when i started writing)
i don’t even know where to start with this. Recently i’ve been posting my art on social media and i’ve been getting a lot of attention and comments from people saying i should look into being a tattoo artist. i think that is a super cool and awesome job to have. i’ve thought about it and i really want to try it out. obviously i can’t necessarily go and do it right now, im 16 almost 17. My biggest issue is my boyfriend and i have been talking about this and we definitely see things a lot differently. i’ve definitely been pulling away from orthodoxy and he’s firm on staying orthodox. we’ve both said that either way we want to stay together, we want to get married and have a life together. but im worried that me wanting to do certain things is gonna cause him to let me go, even though he’s said that he wants this to work and he doesn’t plan on just leaving me. we talked just before about the tattoo artist idea while he was on his break at work (probably not the best time to have a serious conversation but it’s too late now) and the conversation had to be cut short and unfinished.. he said he’d text me after his shift. during that conversation he’d said
“I guess I had this fantasy of you and I being orthodox and happy. it's kind of shattering to me when you want to do this stuff.”
which makes it known that he’d of course had been hoping i’d choose to stay orthodox and i wouldn’t go down a different path. i still don’t know what i’m gonna end up doing, we’re still young but right now i’m trying to figure out my life and where i want to go with it. i know i made him upset and i feel terrible. i love him so much and i don’t want to lose him over this.
if i chose to leave orthodoxy and he stays orthodox that wouldn’t be such a problem for me, i think we could make it work. but he has different views on that i guess. i think it would be harder for him to just accept the fact im no longer orthodox. but of course i haven’t made that decision yet, im still trying really hard to believe in it. i’ve gone through a lot of traumatic things when i was younger and that’s my main reason for pulling away from the church. i’m just torn with what to do and i don’t know how reassure him that it’ll be okay. neither of us want to break up, that would be an absolute last resort. i just am struggling to figure out a way to make it work without him having doubts and always being so worked up about it when i bring up anything related to that subject.
has anyone had a similar experience or advice that could help us? i’d appreciate it so much. i’m happy to answer any questions