How to deal with trauma?
(Using a throwaway account)
A week ago I was chatting with an online friend when it happened. For context, she makes music and has a large following on Instagram. I looked up to her and wanted her to like me. She started texting very sexual very fast, I wasn't comfortable with it but I felt like I needed to continue because she is "famous" and I should be glad someone like her giving me any attention. It didn't take long for our conversations to turn complete sexual.
She sent unsolicited pictures and videos, and she was quick to pressure me into doing video calls. I never had a chance to even process what was happening, she was very forceful and demanded answers right then and there. I did everything she wanted even though I didn't want to. I sent pictures of what she wanted and we called when she wanted and did what she wanted. I never had any say in it. I feel violated and dirty, I told her I was not okay with this and she sent a picture of "proof that I consented" (it was a screenshot of our conversations where she asked if I was okay with doing things and I said yes). I told her I only said yes because she made me feel like I couldn't say no.
I don't know if this is considered SA. I don't know how to heal. I wanted to warn her followers about my behavior but she blocked me and actually posted on all her social media that I was a crazy follower stalking her and making up lies, she did this in the blink of a eye. I really don't know what to do with this, I don't feel good at all, I don't know who to tell