u/A_Cookie_Lid

Image 1 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)
Image 2 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)
Image 3 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)
Image 4 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)
Image 5 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)
Image 6 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)
Image 7 — Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)

Destroy all your opponents lands (but slowly and funny)

Have at least 10 charge counters on [[Dawnsire, Sunstar Dreadnought]]

[[Living Plane]] is trending right now but my way of land destruction is funny I promise

Put a counter on all your creatures, I am using [[Abandoned Air Temple]]

Use [[Gilraen, Dúnedain Protector]] to blink [[Akki Battle Squad]] after each combat to avoid its "once per turn clause.

Since ABS untaps all modified creatures you control, it technically gives you infinite mana and infinite combat steps, but all we're doing is on every combat step, shooting a land for 100 damage.

[[Reanimate Dead]] on [[Ornithopter]] to get in and attack for 0 over and over (optional you dont actually need to connect for the combo to work)

u/A_Cookie_Lid — 1 day ago

Win the game for 69WWWWWUUUURRRRGGGGCCC

Have all cards in hand or on the battlefield. The rest of your deck is lands.

Play [[Cultivator Colossus]] and use its ability to put as many lands into play as your opponents highest life total (hopefully not more than 40 but it doesn't actually matter).

You'll need [[Vedalken Orrery]] and [[Intruder Alarm]] in play.

Cast [[harmless offering]] targeting your [[stuffy doll]]

Play [[mindslaver]] and take control of your opponents control who you gave stuffy doll.

On their turn, flash in [[Ureni, the song unending]], targeting that stuffy doll. Since you are controlling their turn, you will choose to deal that damage to their own face.

Now when that person dies, stuffy doll will return under your control because of rules.

Play [[Scholar of the ages]] returning harmless offering to your hand and recast it.

Forgot to mention but you'll need [[Argivian Archeologist]] ready to return mindslaver to your hand. Recast and activate it to do the stuffy doll trick again.

Have [[Eldrazi displacer]] blink Ureni and Scholar to return harmless offering. Intruder Alarm will untap your Archeologist allowing you to replay mindslaver again.

If done to every player that wins you the game. Congrats. I hope this is sufficiently contrived and bad enough for the guy in my last post

u/A_Cookie_Lid — 1 day ago

Win the game for 9 colorless mana

Cast [[The Millennium Calendar]] and have 20 time counters on it. Very easy to do.

Tap [[Moxite Refinery]] , removing your time counters and putting 20 charge counters on...

[[Darksteel Reactor]] instantly winning the game.

u/A_Cookie_Lid — 1 day ago