I’ll try and make this as accurate as possible, but there was a lot that built up to the end.
I had a falling out with my entire friend group over how they treated me and my gf. My gf was part of this friend group, so we made sure that everyone was comfortable with us dating before we even decided to move forward with our relationship.
Not long after we started dating, one of the girls (I’ll call her Alex) confessed that she actually had feelings for me, when we were all having a pretty serious conversation (we were discussing wether or not to all move in together and it got on the topic our my relationship) I was a little shocked by this, then our other friend ( I’ll call her Sara) followed it up by saying that my gf asking me to date her was a “big fuck you in the face” to them, because they had feelings for me too at one point I guess.
* I feel like that was inappropriate to say, especially since we had already been dating for at least a month now, and they all said they were fine with it before we even started
I didn’t know about either of their feelings and it seemed odd that they even cared since they both had their own relationships. Alex said that she didn’t want my gf to treat me differently now that we’re dating, and that she expected to be given as the same attention. This was ridiculous to me, because everyone treats their spouse differently from their friends. My gf reassured her that they would still spend time together like they usually do, and that just because me and her were dating now, that it wasn’t going to diminish their friendship. Alex didn’t seem to understand and still insisted on being treated equally.
A week or so later everyone seemed fine and there were no problems. We were pet / house sitting for Sara, when my gf found clothes that she asked about getting back ( we were trying to move to a new place, and she wanted to have all her clothes when we did ) Sara had told her that she didn’t have them. I told my gf to wait till she got back and to talk to her about it then (I’ve recently come to find that my gf did in fact text her, and she wasn’t nice about it)
I knew that my gf had asked both Sara and Alex for some of the clothes back that she let them borrow, but they both said they didn’t have them, and eventually stopped responding altogether. Then one night my gf was really getting upset about the clothes when she knew that she had let the other girls borrow them, and asked that they look for them, or if they lost them, then they could figure something out, she just wanted an answer. One night in our group chat, she said that she was gonna stop by Alex and Saras houses to come grab any clothes she had left there (it was normal for us to show up randomly at each other’s houses). Alex responded to her saying that she would fight her if she showed up to her house, and Sara said that she wasn’t welcome at her place. I was so confused by their responses over something like this, and asked them if we could act more mature, not threaten to fight each-other, and just talk about it like adults. Alex told me to stay out of it.
I removed myself from the group chat after that, sent a harsh message to Alex, explaining that I was tired of how her and Sara had been treating my gf (which generally consisted of disregarding her feelings, or telling her to “go to therapy”- which is something Sara would say to her when they got into arguments). After that message I blocked all of them, which is probably just as childish as what they were doing. But I was so tired. It wasn’t just because of how they were treating my girlfriend, but they weren’t even happy for us, In a past relationship Alex would tell me that I should only see by bf at the time on Friday’s, but she would leave hanging out with us to go sleep with some random tinder date all the time. Alex would criticize me for having made plans to go on a trip and I had to miss some of our other friend ( Jessica’s) birthday. Scolding me about time management and showing up for people.( I showed up to every. Single. Event, birthdays, group plans, everything) My plans had been made months in advance, and I still made it to her party.
That’s just a few examples. My main issue now is that my gf misses these girls with her whole heart, and I really struggle to understand, I’m not saying my gf was perfect, and neither was I. But she didn’t see that I witnessed them disrespecting her constantly, and I wasn’t going to put up with it anymore.
She reached out to all of them recently and they said they won’t speak to her unless I say something. I don’t really think that’s fair to group us, since we both had different reasons and situations that made us leave the group. I could maybe apologize for my final message but in general I don’t feel the need to speak to them, I think our friendship ran its course. I have love for these girls and I hope they’re doing well in life, but I don’t want them in my life again, and my gf does, or at the very least she wants a conversation about what happened to their friendship.
I don’t know what to do, more happened after I blocked them, and Sara (who I also worked with) was telling all of our coworkers about it, and about my relationship. I even got incredibly sick and was in and out of the hospital for nearly a whole month, when I found out that she was keeping track of what I was doing, checking to see if my car was home, keeping a list of when I showed up to work or didn’t. Her and another girl that we worked with made my life hell at work for five months while I just let them talk shit about to anyone that would listen. I only found out about this list from another coworker who thought the whole situation was weird.
I don’t know how to feel, or if I should even say anything to them. If I had a therapist, trust me I’d be telling them this.
(No real names are used)