Hey y'all! This may be a long read but please bear with me. I'm in a long distance relationship with someone who is suffering from PCOS. I'm a bit new to this and have been reading about it for the past year or so, but it has been a struggle for me to understand my partner.
Firstly, from what I understand (please correct me if I'm wrong), PCOS can directly contribute to sudden mood swings or feelings that are hard to describe. My partner and I often have arguments because of this. There are times when I try my best to be understanding and patient, but as a human, I also get triggered and sometimes respond with the same level of aggression that she shows. Our conversations often turn into a mess of heartbreak and hurtful insults, which usually get resolved within a day or a few hours. I'm not sure what causes this behavior, but when things are calm, and I ask her about it, she often says she doesn't know what triggers her emotions. She tends to respond with statements like "I don't know" or "I am just like this." If I press further, she becomes defensive and responds with anger again. This has been happening quite frequently lately, and I'm unsure how to handle the situation.
Secondly, in her anger, she fails to recognize me. It's as if I’m attacking her, even though I’m just trying to have a normal convo. Instead, she meets me with her guard up, and we end up fighting, using triggering words against each other. It feels like I’m causing more harm than comfort. I try being easy and explain what i said, but there’s no middle ground; it’s either too extreme on one side or the other. It’s like walking on eggshells; one wrong step and suddenly, she’s upset.
I genuinely don't want to cause her any pain. It hurts me to know that I'm not being a comforting partner, especially with us being in a long-distance relationship, which makes everything much harder. Communication is our only option, but I’m unsure how to navigate it. She is extremely sensitive about her feelings and struggles to express them clearly. Whenever I ask her about her feelings, it seems to trigger her even more.
Dealing with PCOS has already caused her a lot of suffering, including hair loss, acne, and weight issues. As her partner, I really don't want to add to her pain. Kindly assist me in becoming more patient and approachable for her.