Have any of your preschoolers dealt with extreme perfectionism and, if so, how did you help them gain confidence and relax the rigid thinking?
My 4.5 year is a highly sensitive child. She's smart, funny, and deeply caring but her highs are definitely higher than others and her lows, lower. Since turning 4, however, she's spiraled into a web where she feels she can't make a single mistake so refuses to put herself out there to begin with. This can range from her not writing the perfect letter P to her melting down kicking and screaming at soccer practice because she couldn't stop the ball when her coach said freeze. These meltdowns can be intense, moreso when in public. The soccer, for example, was just an introduction to the sport for 3 - 6 year olds where there was no competition and all of the children were new to the game but it didn't matter to her. She saw herself as less than capable and lost it. We tried a handful of sessions even with mom and dad on the field but she'd essentially have a panic attack and a meltdown would ensue where we'd have to remove her from the complex.
Last fall, she played two months of t-ball and absolutely adored it. She made friends and did really well altogether but, once she hit 4, it's like a switch flipped.
At home, we've tried modeling mistakes through play and pretending to make some ourselves. She's incredible at telling us "It's okay. It's just practice! It's not a big deal. You just try again." but she hits a wall when it comes to applying it to herself.
We have spoken to her pediatrician and are currently on a wait list for occupational therapy but, in the meantime, I just wanted to see if others had experienced anything similar with their children.