About 3 years ago I completely crashed after around 1.5 years of nonstop grinding. I was working/studying/training basically from morning until night every single day with almost no real recovery. Ever since then, I have never felt the same again.
My main symptom is not “sadness” or classic depression. It’s more like severe nervous system exhaustion / fatigue. I feel physically and mentally drained 24/7 no matter how much I sleep. I can sleep 9–10 hours and still wake up feeling like I barely slept at all.
I also have constant derealization. It feels like life is happening far away from me and I’m never fully “present” anymore.
The weird thing is:
- under stress or pressure I can still somehow function
- but when I finally relax or have free time, I often feel EVEN WORSE
Weekends and vacations sometimes make me crash harder instead of helping.
I also noticed:
- caffeine makes me feel much worse now
- cold showers completely destroy me now (they used to energize me years ago)
- I barely feel real joy or comfort anymore
- my emotional regulation became terrible
- I get overstimulated very easily
What makes this so frustrating is that my lifestyle is objectively very healthy:
- nutrition has always been good
- regular exercise
- supplements (magnesium, omega 3, vitamins, etc.)
- hormones and bloodwork mostly normal
- no major organic disease found
I’ve tried “pushing through it” for years and it only made things worse.
At this point I honestly suspect some kind of chronic nervous system dysregulation / burnout / fight-or-flight state, but I still don’t fully understand what’s happening to me.
I’m posting this because I genuinely want to know:
Has anyone here experienced something similar and actually recovered from it?
Especially the combination of:
- constant exhaustion
- derealization
- feeling worse AFTER stress stops
- sleep not feeling restorative
- inability to truly relax anymore
Would really appreciate hearing from people who relate to this.