Hi everyone,
I very recently started somatic experiencing seassions to try to improve some chronic dissociative symptoms I experience. I am having such a hard time with SE though. I am very disconnected from my body and have pretty much no sense of what’s going on inside no matter how hard I try to tune in, other than some uncomfortable things like constant shallow breathing and neck tension. Because I have had such difficulty identifying what’s going on internally, my SEP has recommended that I start with just orienting. However, i’ve had a lot of difficulty with this as well. I find that whenever I try to tune in to something, I become hyperaware of a process that should be automatic e.g. when I try to let my eyes be “curious” and wander around, I find that they are genuinely not really interested in anything they see and I have to consciously think about where to look or when I try to notice my breathing, that process becomes manual for me and my breathing pattern begins to feel all messed up. I brought this up to my SEP and she recommended instead of trying to have my eyes wander, that I scan the room for something like “items that are green” or “textures that look soft” or something along those lines. Does anyone have any tips? I keep worrying that I’m just not doing it right or as intended and just end up feeling pretty frustrated.