u/92410385

I'm a girl in my early 20s and I've had a good deal of friendship breakups but also loving friendships which is why I keep my circle small.

I have a friend that I have been close to for 10 years but we grew a bit apart as she stayed in state for college and I went across the country to escape the hometown bullies. After I graduated, I stayed in my hometown for a year and became close friends with my cousins girlfriend (lets call her apple).

I hung out with my cousin and her girlfriend very often. My cousin was in college across the country and apple stayed home figuring things out. My cousin and Apple were having issues, but I wasn't aware and kept Apple company because of how lonely she felt without my cousin.

I began seeing her as my little sister, but multiple unfortunate events occurred and my cousin and apple broke up leaving both of them very emotional. Apple and I thought my cousin has found someone new. This was shocking because Apple was emotionally and financially reliant on my cousin. I related to Apple's loneliness so I tried to be there for her because I knew what it felt like to have no friends and no supporting family.

After a while, I felt stagnant in hometown so I decided to move with my boyfriend across the country. So before I left, I introduced her to a long time friend that I mentioned before. Hanging out became so convenient. Overtime, I felt relieved because Apple made friends and was trying new things.

After a few months, apple would make weird remarks that made me feel like I was competing for my friendships and started feeling insecure. Apple started criticizing my relationship with my boyfriend which was unwarranted.

However, there was a breaking point when I felt insecure about my friend of 10 years choosing Apple over me because she said her Apple got so close in 2 months and she believed I was overreacting. We cleared the misunderstanding and I apologized. At this point, apple was being distant so I checked up on her to see what was going on and to apologize for any weird behaviors I was displaying. Apple ghosts me so I wait a month and contacted her again.

She messages me that I am physically abusive to my boyfriend. I was curious where she got this from because my boyfriend and I have been working on our relationship. I was not physically abusive towards him. I cleared it up what she thought happened but she didn't believe me. How can someone who I considered close ghost me because of that instead of talking to me.

I told my close friend about it and asked her not to tell Apple because I just wanted a friend to confide in because I felt so betrayed and used. Apple ghosted me after she got close to my two friends out three friends I have in my hometown. My friend wanted to de-escalate the situation so she tells Apple to talk it out with me and defends Apple. I was hurt but I understood my friend just wanted everyone to be happy. Because I had close friends betray me and bully me in the past in groups and my anxiety became severe.

I soon learn from my cousin Apple was abusive towards my cousin and emotionally cheated on her with a friend. Despite this my hometown friends assume that Apple has been mistreated terribly by my cousin and I felt guilty that this even spiraled like this. At this point, I've distanced myself from my hometown friends because of my severe anxiety and I felt like I couldn't trust my friend if she wasn't at least try to hear me out if she wanted to defend Apple and get me to be more open minded.

I contact my two friends at home, one I recently became close to and one my friend of 10 years. I just wanted them to defend me when Apple was continuing to tell people false rumors about me because compared to Apple they known for her for few months but we've known each other half our lives. I've accepted that Apple chose to ignore the truth and spread false rumors.

This month is my friend of 10 years birthday party. She invited me and we were very excited to reunite. However, she built the conversation to ask if it was okay to invite Apple because Apple got close to her family. At first, I was upset because she knew how I felt because I've communicated so many times how I've been coping with them letting Apple treat me like this. But it was her party and she should invite whoever she wants.

My friend told me she cared more about my mental health and wanted me there more than she wanted Apple there. I realized I wished my friend wasn't friends with her. I introduced them and they've only known each other for months, but I also wish I was mature enough to handle disrespect without being so emotional. Apple and my cousin put me in the middle because I was so close to them, I should have distanced myself anyways because I just made things worse especially for my mental health.

I told my friend I will stop by if Apple is there and that it is her day and she should invite whoever she wants to be there. Is it okay to be upset that she asked to invite Apple? Is it okay if I clarify that I don't want to go to her birthday even though she wants me there because I'm not emotionally stable to see Apple again? She wants to remain friends but I realized I don't want to be friends with someone that is friends with Apple because it is triggering for me.

Thank you for reading and please be nice im a sensitive person